By now you know I am looking for the real deal. I am not dating to just hookup or play games. However, it seems that all I find are the guys who are looking for just a hookup or to "have fun" OR the guys who practically propose on a first date.
Does it have to be ALL OR NOTHING?
I met a guy while wine tasting last weekend; he was a designated driver with a company I had tried to book a week prior to no avail. While being drivin from winary to winery by aother company's driver, Mr. Wine Country jumped out of the car he was driving to take my friend and I's photo by the grapevines when he saw us taking selfies. He introduced himself and was VERY personable and outgoing. I recognized the name of his company and told him I thought I had his number in my phone. He told me to use it later that night so he could meet up with us.
While we were way too exhausted to go out after a full day of wine tasting, I did text him and he planned on meeting up in the morning before we left town.
He kept to his word and drove out to meet us for breakfast at our Inn. He was again very nice and knowledgeable about the Wine Country, wine making, good restaurants etc. in the area, which I expected in his line of work. I learned a little about him and what I heard I was liking. We texted all the way home. I was learning more and more and the more distance that seperated us, the more I realized he may have just been a birthday ego boost find and nothing more.
He was 41, was trying to apply to schools to go back for his BS, lived at home with his mother up in Wine Country; only drove on the weekends for extra cash and picked up odd/end jobs doing construction when he could. Never married, no kids and had a dream to start a small restuarant in Malibu and make his own wine. He was upfront about wanting a relationship with me and had a 3 year plan before he would be able to even think about possibly moving to my area. He wanted to skip the dating and go straight to marriage. He was already talking about me moving up North to be closer to him while he went to school.
While I really like the enthusiasm, it is a red flag to me. I want someone who is into me a lot but so soon after meeting is a bit scary.
I am not ready to jump into a long distance relationship and definitely not ready to move for any man after meeting twice.
I drove up to Santa Barbara to meet him for a lovely date but after learning he has no money for gas to come down to meet me further, I don't think this will turn into a relationship. When he told me I had to call him because his data plan was used up for the month, it sort of sealed the deal for me. I don't need a rich man but I am used to a certain lifestyle and I have realized I have outgrown the lifestyle of my youth. If I am to go older by 9 years, he needs to be at my financial level at the very least. I do not want a forever student that I have to take care of financially. I don't want a man I can't text because he can't afford a better phone plan. I don't want a man that I have to drive 2 hours to see because he doesn't have the gas money to drive to see me.
While Mr. Wine Country may be a great success in 3+ years, at this point in my life I don't have the time to gamble on a maybe. I've gambled on men with the same name too many times now; I should know better than to wait around and hope.
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