Evolved...

What do you do when you find out the love of your life; the guy you always thought you'd end up with once he finally grew up - (but they never ever do)... Is moving 3000 miles away and the last guy that made you forget about said LOYL: if even for two days, tells you he is married with kids!

You drink.

While I am a smart girl and i am very much aware that my problems are not solved at the bottom of a glass, it doesn't hurt to let loose for a night (or a weekend) when your love life is in the shitter.

With all my might I am trying not to give up on love completely and it's hard! Hell, even honey boo boo's mom has a man! Two, even! How is this fair?

Again, smart girl here and I know life isn't fair but cmon...! C'MON!

Perhaps I'm too smart to take in a man. Maybe I am an evolved species of female that knows better. I've already procreated without a man (egg donations) so my genes will live on beyond myself, so maybe I have no need now to live the 'traditional' life which promotes marriage and babies in order to live a fulfilling, "meaningful" life.

Men are pigs. They are dirty and needy and with the exception of bug killing, lifting heavy items and ...well I suppose that's it; they are more work than necessary. 

Now, I'm no lesbian either; I enjoy the company of men but in small doses, and haven't found one that I want to spend more than 3 weeks with since I was 21 and met the LOML who hasn't grown up yet! :/

I'm now 33 and beyond the desirable years at any local hotspot. I have more curves than guys 23-30 can handle and too much experience has driven the rest away. When all else fails, the ones that actually make me laugh don't have a job and the ones with great jobs have no sense of humor! I can't win.

I don't think my expectations are set too high, which is what I hear ALL THE TIME. Do I have high expectations, sure. I believe every woman should! Are they too high? I don't believe so. 

I am looking for a man with a job. Someone that can make me laugh...all the rest can come with time! Honestly.

I'm a single female with lots of time on my hands do of course I gave an extended list but I'm looking for that guy that makes me want to throw that list out the window! The right one will.

Until then...I will enjoy my dirty martini, glass of IPA, hot Tati, glass of wine and shot of fireball in their respected establishments.