In Between

I am really great at being single.
I can do first and 2nd dates like a world class champion.
Once I am in a relationship I am the BEST girlfriend and that one time I was married, I slayed that wife shit!
What I don't do well is the in between.
Once I actually like a guy, and he likes me but it isn't anything official. After the first 3 dates and before it is exclusive but you know neither are dating anyone else either...the in between.

The in between is new to me.
When you were younger, you like a guy and he likes you, he is your boyfriend. It's always been that way for me. Since I've been single as an adult there is this new in between stage. It's taken me a long time to get to this point and I feel like I am messing it up! I like the security of a relationship. Knowing. I figure if you both like each other, give it a go, right? Well I guess some people dont want to jump into a relationship these days; they've been hurt before or whatever...we all have, but I know I've been on a lot of first dates and haven't liked anyone enough to even get to a third date in a very long time. If I find someone I am excited to see after a 2nd date, I want to jump head first and give it my all.

In an effort to not screw things up, I blog or text my bff in order to not text him. There is a "play it cool" phase now and I suck at it! I lay all my emotions out as I can't hold anything back and I feel I lay the pressure on thick and it might scare away a great potential.It's a fine line between showing interest and scaring off! I evidently have terrible balance. Luckily, I've found a potential that isn't afraid to tell me I am being ridiculous, which is what I need. I don't always have girly melt downs but when I do, he knows exactly how to humorously put me in my place and remind me that we are on the same page and things are good and going in the right direction. I have to take it slow in order to make it last and when I get lonely I just have to remind myself that this is how you do the in between and it will eventually get better; the in between doesn't last that long, I can get through this. I just get so excited to actually start my life (ie: boyfriend to fiance to husband then kids...) that I want to get started if I feel confident about the guy and our connection. I've only felt this way two other times; one I married and the other i was in a 8+ year relationship! I have good instincts when it comes to these things but the guy never wants to believe me. LOL