7/26/2010: Mr. Typonics

I am not sure what to make out of this email I got on one of those datings sites..anyone know how to de-code?

"well,yerr ii's are beautiful,id say bomb like nuclear
i think the news is clear,yer adorability brings all cuteness near."

LOL! What some guys won't do to stand out, eh?

7/23/2010: Mr. Matador

Friday

Location: My House

No, not "my house" as in my personal dwelling; there is a club called MY HOUSE which I was dragged out to tonight by a friend. Those that know me WELL know I am not a club person. I cant stand the crowds, the lines, the loud music and especially the men that partake in the game that is Hollyweird! BUT, I humored my ol' friend and accompanied him as his wing-girl since he values my opinions and assistance oh so much.
It just so happens that as I am sipping on my water while my friend was on the crowded dance floor, I notice a tall dark lurker nearby checking out the "talent" (as the guys say)...he appeared to be stalking a group of three woman with his eyes and I lean against the wall to watch him in "Action" knowing he is either up to no good, is totally wasted or is on the clock, so out of pure entertainment, I watch and wait. He whispers to his "friend" and takes a step back letting this friend reel in one of the three. It seems obvious to me what is going on at this point: I read the book THE GAME about 5 years ago and could spot the setup a mile away. (It was one of the VERY few books I've actually read since high school, and I enjoyed learning the tricks of men and what to watch out for!)...He was with a paying client who was counting on his expertise in the art of seduction to train him on how to pick up woman successfully.
I try not to stare too long but I strain to try and hear the conversation. It is utterly ridicules the lines that are coming out but the girls eat it up because of the delivery that was obviously so well instilled in him.

I then realize Mr. Matador glance in my direction and before you know it he has slinked his way against the same wall I am leaning up on. He opens with:

"Wouldn't it be weird if a guy you never gave your number to call you?"

He goes on to explain himself somewhat, opening up the lines of communication to get my interest. I've been hit on enough times and have heard all the lines in the book. It's going to take more then smooth talking and obvious cliches, but this guy is good at what he does. I call him out on everything he is throwing at me and ask his friend how much he paid for this "Session". His friend is trying hard not to give it away but Mr. Matador finally tells me after about 15 minutes that he IS the professional pick up artist "Matador", and was in the book THE GAME and on VH1 for 2 seasons of "The Pickup Artist", to which I replied with "How many girls does THAT work on? Cause I don't care."

I am not sure if it was part of his routine but he mentioned he was impressed by my confidence and savvy-ness on the art of picking up. I guess all my "Experience" in dealing with douch-baggyness paid off tonight. That is a compliment coming from a world renowned pick up artist...I can finally know for sure I am not one of "Those girls" who is naive to fall for complete and utter BS! yay? I am still not sure whether to feel flattered or offended for being one of this guys' "target practice" for the night...and not entirely sure I really passed the test because I ended up talking with him for an extended amount of time after he knew I knew who he was and what he and his "friend" were doing. 

Granted, it was mostly about my experience with guys over the last year and how much I have put up with: If you have read ANY of my blog you know what I mean....and Mr. Matador seemed to be off his game and possibly REAL (whatever that means at a club); meaning he wasn't doing any of his trademark moves on me any longer and we had actual conversations while I was waiting for my friend to be done with his clubbing and he was observing his student in action.

Whatever the night was it was interesting meeting this guy I have read so much about. Possibly if he needs a woman's point of view in the arsenal that is

venusianarts, he will find a way to contact me. ;)
Since he is a public figure somewhat, I think it is only FAIR GAME to post his pic and info on my blog!
Woman, study this face and be aware if he approaches you in a club....he is a professional and may sick his student on you for practice! One of the sure key signs is the ever popular CUT DOWN method he teaches:
A less than attractive socailly awkward man approaches with more self confidence than he should have and pulls out a super cheesy line. When you try to call him out on it he comes back with something to the effect of "Your not my type" This in turn makes you somewhat offended but yet oddly attracted enough to attempt and make yourself his "Type" out of the shear fact your a girl and need to feel wanted...If you look closely around, you will see another gentleman hiding in a dark corner of the room watching; this is the professional pick up artist!
Guys, if you want to try out the move above, I must admit, it DOES in fact work on the club rats! If you get a woman smart enough to call you out though, she may actually be worth spending some time with!


I have reafirmed a couple things tonight:
1. I don't care for clubs
2. I don't put up with ANY BS from ANYONE and have no problem calling it out as I see it
3. I don't care for clubs! 
4. I should start my own multi-million dollar business to show woman one on one what to look out for at a club!...hmmm

7/22/2010: Mr. 60/40

Thursday

Location: Ladyface Alehouse

After taking it easy the last month from the dating scene, and ready to have a night out; I met up with a guy who I met from...you guessed it:  online dating site.
He was tall, all American and  ...father of TWO (11 and 14 tears old!)...
He was 5 years older than his online profile said and at 40 with two kids who he has half time, is a bit too much for me. The date went okay but I found myself taking the conversational lead for the duration, which was exhausting after a full day of work! Only highlight was talking about karaoke. He loves it as much as I and most of the date we were just listing songs that other people butcher.

We tried 2 beers each and had bruschetta and split fish n chips. 

When the bill came, we split 60/40, ME! Dissapointing!

No 2nd date in the works, although he invited me to karaoke. It takes a lot for me to turn down karaoke....but I don't want to lead anyone on and I just don't feel anything would ever happen with him.

A nice easing back into the game though. Nothing HORRIBLE happened, except the lies and check split: It's bad that lying isn't considered BAD anymore in the dating world that is my life!

7/04/2010: Mr. Obnoxious

Sunday

Location: The Oaks Mall

NOW I remember why I took a break from dating...it is horrible!

Having no plans for the 4th since I didn't know if I would have it off or not until the last possible minute, I agreed to a movie at the local mall with a guy I had been blowing off all of June due to my dating downtime and just general business of the new job etc. With it being a holiday and traffic sucking on his journey from Van Nuys we missed the matinee and went next door for a beer and appetizer before catching the later show of "Knight and Day" at around 4:30. 

It worked out okay though: Shared a grilled cheese sandwich and fries and had a beer while talking about work, family, etc. This guy I thought was such a nice guy; teaches kids gymnastics and does stunt work on the side... smokes "a bowl" every morning and pot and pot related things is about all he could talk about! That and his obscene need for a cigarette! 

You would think someone that addicted would have a pack, right? NOPE! He asked our bartender for a smoke. Oh, let me precede that with saying on his profile it said non smoker!...He continued asking anyone he saw, including a little girl no older than 6 with her parents; because he thought he was being funny!

He was loud and obnoxious at the bar...he was loud and obnoxious in the movie. He is like a 12 year old boy who thinks being boisterous and saying whatever is on his mind is hilarious. He was throwing popcorn around, slurping his soda on purpose...I wanted to move seats but it was a packed house and I was stuck for the duration of the movie.

The movie ended up being only PG! Cameron Diaz and Cruise in a PG flick? Weird! But...fitting since I was on a date with a little boy!

After the movie he was looking for me to ask him to stay longer and watch the fireworks or something- he kept hinting at it...well, no...he was hinting at us "making our own fireworks", which CLEARLY would never happen! I instead insisted he leave at once as to not hit the holiday traffic and to be safe from the drunk drivers. He took the hint finally and we parted.

"Hit me up if your ever in LA!" he shouted from his car, across the parking lot....Guess I will be avoiding LA for awhile, just to be safe!