5/27/2010: Mr. Oh Yeah!

Thursday

Location: TGIFridays

I am sure you remember the Kool-Aid character from the early 90's, right? Well, I felt I was on a date with him last night!...After everything this guy said he followed it up with "Oh yeah!". But in like a weird Jim Carey mouth movement sort of way. He did the same odd facial contorcions when he drank his beer as well...Very off putting.
I sipped on water as he downed 3 pints and a gin/tonic and listened to his stories of past relationships. One of which stuck out to me due to the level of it's inappropriatness...(like any stories of ex's are, but this one especially so!)
I guess he had just broken up from a girl he had been with for 7 years and admitley just wanted to get layed one night and picked up a cougar who was 38 at the time. (This being a year ago from what he said)
He successfully brought her back to his layer and attempted to ... well, ya know. This cougar went out to her car, brought back her vibrator and ipod and pleasured herself while listening to her ipod the entire time. Mr. Oh Yeah was trying his best but Cougar wasn't having it, asked him to get off and she continued another 45 minutes on her own. LOL!
It gets better!
A one night stand with said Cougar wasn't enough. He wanted to prove to her he could do the deed and invited her over again after a week or so. This time he told me was better but Cougar asked him to be rough. He slapped her ass and it wasn't nearly enough for her. She wanted him to PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. Seriously.
I guess Mr. Oh yeah DOES have a line and refused. Cougar was not called again.

Guys.....this is not appropriate conversation for a first meeting (or second, or third....). Regardless of how layed back the evening is, regardless of setting. Never talk about past relationships and NEVER NEVER discuss sex with other woman! Granted, it was an interesting story and it was alright in this case because I have NO ROMANTIC feelings toward this guy, and I am able to share the story with y'all....but still!