8/18/2011: Mr. Chocolate

No, MR. Chocolate is not in reference to an African American man....

Mr. Chocolate and I had exchanged numbers about a half year ago and we hadn't talked at all since...until a few days ago when I randomly went thru my phone and decided to text him out of the blue. We had never met up and I can't remember why, but I thought what the heck?

I invited him to a bbq I was having for my girlfriend who had just come home from a month long trip and we were just trying to get bodies to come and eat the 5lbs of carne asada she had gotten (maybe a little over-exaggeration)...

He texted back and said he couldn't make it but that we should set something up for next weekend, or sooner. Two days later I text him inviting him to Taco Tuesday and he writes back saying he is seeing someone, but has tons of single guy friends he wants to introduce me to....I'm fine with that...honesty and hook up to where the single guys hang! I tell him I have a single girlfriend and lets for sure set something up for the weekend....he agrees and we leave it at that.

2 days pass and I get a text...from Mr. Chocolate, just saying "hey". I reply and let him know there is karaoke and beer pong at a bar tonight. It's Thursday. I tell him to tell his friends because both me and my girlfriend are going. He replies back, "I'm bringing myself". Confused, I ask, "no friends?" he replied with "there have been some developments in the past couple days"....which meant the girl he had been seeing, he ain't seeing no more.

Now, it's been so long since I've talked to or even seen the profile page for this guy. I can't remember what he looks like, all I know is his profession which I have him as in my phone "Chocolatier"....I go with it though because if I gave him my number 6 months ago and took his, I am sure I was attracted to him somehow!

I get to the bar, and order my usual, water.

My girlfriend comes in and a couple other friends, then Mr. Chocolate walks thru the door. My gf looks at me and asks "Is that him?!" I glance quickly to the door and turn back to her and say "I HAVE NO IDEA" but he is CUTE! I think we even shared a school girl giggle over him for a second before he approached the table.

By far the most attractive pof guy I've met. 

A little shorter than my usual, and it didn't help that I had on my highest heels, but he was still within my height range. And he is creative and talented, successful and ambitious....this could be a good thing.

He offered to buy me and my gf drinks, was engaging and could hold a conversation, seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and seemed like an all around good guy. Didn't hurt that he kept complimenting me too. LOL

Having to work early, he left before I did and asked if I could walk him out, which I did, and he went in for the kiss...

But...

He had to kind of go up on his toes to reach my lips, which is when I just plain stopped him! That is too weird for me! I told him next time I won't wear my highest heels and if there is a first kiss it will be more organic, not so mechanically put together with him having to tippy toe it!...

We don't make any solid plans but I'm sure I'll see Mr. Chocolate again soon.

08/10/2011: Mr. Whammy Bar!

So it's been a few days since my date with Mr. Whammy Bar and I would love to all but forget it, but it was so entertaining and I just found my phone notes about the date and had to make an entry here!

So, my notes are as follows:

Whammy Bar

'Sassy'

Firewok is go to song

Nar

Doesn't surf, boogie boards to get "so deep in the barrel"

Okay, let me explain....I had talked to Mr. Whammy bar online and thru text for about 3 days, and he seemed semi normal and sorta cute from the pics and profile. I got a little scared the night of our date however because he just seemed a little TOO optimistic. I had to do dinner with my folks, making the 7pm meet up more like 9pm and he was driving through my town on his way home which is about 30 minutes North. He seemed almost excited to wait at a gas station, in his car until I was done. I offered to postpone our meeting to another night becuase unexpected plans had come up, but he wouldn't have any part of it! Enthusiastically he told me that family comes first and he would gladly wait for me so he could meet me this very night, "a night of magic"....

Whatever.

So, after I was done with my family, I go to the bar I tell him to meet me at. I know most of the people who work there, so I feel safe in case I need help. (BTW: Not a good thing to think when going into a date, and I should know this by now)...I sit and order some water while I wait. Next thing you know, this poufy blonde haired BOY comes running at me and practically screams, "WHAMMY BAR!"

Startled and confused, I start laughing before he even introduces himself. What does that mean?!?! I can't even get out the words to ask him. The bartenders look at me like "Do you know this guy?!?!" Already I am regretting my decision to not just go home and curl up in bed!

The conversion is slow starting becuase, well, let's face it- he opened with "WHAMMY BAR!"...

I get a little background on him, but nothing really deep cause...well, ya. He used the term "SASSY" a few times, his go to karaoke song currently is "Firework" by Katy Perry and that he wouldn't dare surf cause it's too scary plus he likes to get "totally in the barrel" on his boogie board! 

Oh, and he used the term "NAR" (instead of Narly, which is way better?) about 50 times!

Wow.

One of my friends who is a bar-back started talking to Mr. Whammy Bar in the same surfer way he used, making fun of him but Mr. Whammy Bar didn't seem to notice that fact. He just said the barback was "Cool People:...LOL!

Thankfully something came up for Mr. Whammy Bar and he had to"scoot" but not before he offered to take me to Vegas this coming weekend!

I polietly decline on his offer and let him know I am going to stay and drink the one beer that was bought for me from the other guy at the bar sitting next to me. 

He leaves and I am stuck having to be ridiculed the rest of the evening by the people I know at the bar for bringing Mr. Whammy Bar.....

(By the way, the guy who bought me the drink did it out of pity and was about 50 years old!)

NAR!

06/09/2011: Mr. B

On my birthday I invited an old high school friend who happened to be in town. He happened to be hanging out with an out of town friend that night who he brought. The friend of my friend ended up being really fun and personable; he got along with my friends and was engaging. 

A day later my friend we exchanged phone numbers and began texting.

Mr. B lives out of town but he was passing through next week and wanted to meet for dinner and a movie. I agreed.

A week passes and it was the day of our date- we decided to meet close to my apartment at El Torito up in the bar area. We sit and about 5 minutes later my high school friend (who I originally invited to my birthday) walks up and sits with us. Mr. B had invited him on our date! Was it a date? I was confused.

My friend and Mr. B end up talking through dinner about motorcycles, leaving me to eat alone. I was about ready to just leave and chalk it up to another bad date when Mr. B asked to come over for a little bit to watch a movie. Usually against my rules, but guess what...? My friend came along too so I felt safe! LOL

I came to the conclusion this was just a friendly hang out. Mr. B hadn't even talked much to me, let alone make any pass at me.

We ended up watching "Grandma's Boy" on my couch.

awesome.

The next day I got a text from Mr. B saying he had a great time and next time he was in town he wanted to meet up again.

Odd.

5/28/2011: Mr. Prohibition

I had been talking thru pof.com (plenty of fish) with Mr. Prohibition for about two months off and on and I wasn't getting a great vibe from the start; he would always ask me to drive close to him and at first I was trying to play it cool and offer a half way meeting spot.

Sidenote: I don't think it is fair or right to ask the girl to drive entirely to you on a first meet. Halfway is fair for both parties and coming to the girl will always win you extra points!

If I am gaga (I hate that lady gaga ruined that term) over someone (which has yet to happen), I MAY be willing to drive if he has a special spot in mind that is mindblowing. I refuse to drive more than 20 miles for a cup of coffee/tea.

So, he was finally willing to drive to me only after he started to get upset I wasn't willing to drive to him. However, I had to explain my living situation at the moment for him to feel bad for being such a jerk for him to finally offer.

I just got a new job and had to work later than anticipated so I would text him updates throughout the night and even hinted about postponing because it had gotten late. He told me he had already started the 40 mile trek. (Making sure I knew he was coming 40 miles- a douchey statement if you ask me). So, I then ask him if he'd like to grab a glass of wine when I was done. There is a wine bar next to my work that I wanted to try and after a long night I was ready to unwind a little. He took offense to me asking him to do that.

What?

Ya, he went on a rant (via text) that he thinks me asking him to drink alcohol after he just drove 40 miles (again, referencing the distance he has traveled) is outrageous. "It is a holiday weekend, I am driving and I think anyone who needs alcohol to unwind is pathetic"....

OH BOY!

I wanted to cancel right then and there. Anyone who is that self-righteous and just plain douchey doesn't deserve my time. But, being the nice person I am, I feel bad that he did drive 40 miles and think I should at least give him the benefit of the doubt.

He asks if there are any quiet places to grab a cup of hot tea....

Are you 80?

It is 11pm in Thousand Oaks. Really? Nothing is open except for bars! My friends at this point text me to go out. Knowing that this "date" is not going to work out in the end, I tell my friends I will be there shortly.

Mr. Prohibition and I settle on TGIFridays. (I chose because I could still walk home if necessary and my friends were in the same shopping center at a FUN place)...The host isn't even working this late because everyone (normal) is in the bar area. He thinks it is much to loud and obnoxious in there and asks a server to be seated in the farthest corner booth away from the bar possible. He rants about all the stupid people getting drunk in the bar and all I want to do is join them! I try to argue that you don't have to get drunk to have a drink to unwind. My attempts go un-noticed as he begins to talk over me....

AWESOME.

He goes on to talk about himself without asking one thing about me. He is in LOVE with the sport of POOL...however he doesn't play in bars. Umm...I've never seen a place with a pool table that doesn't serve alcohol, but evidentally there are places if you look hard enough? Interesting. He had already lost me a long time ago. I start to plot my exist.

He doesn't give me any openers though because he can't stop talking about himself and his distaste for booze! 

It's not that I am an alcoholic or anything but anyone THAT against it obviously cannot hang out with me and my friends. We enjoy going out (or staying in) with some wine or beer. Our games are flip-cup and beer pong, apples to apples, darts...all which involve sips of beverages in which Mr. Prohibition would lead a sit in over.

So, while he is talking and I am sipping on my iced tea imagining I was with my friends with a cold beer in my hand dancing to music, I excuse myself to the restroom. I ask a server I've known there since my drunk Thursday days to escort me to the back door for a quick get away.

Not a classy move, I know and I do feel  bad somewhat...for a second.

I pretty much RUN to my friends waiting for me at the bar/club right down the way, without looking back. The entire meeting took about 15 minutes.

Once I knew I was clear, I text him to at least let him know so he isn't waiting and thinking I have diarhia or something gross.

"Sorry _____, I don't think it is going to work out. Sorry for making you drive"

While I was entering the bar/club I get a text back......

"It's okay. I was doing charity myself because you are kinda...well, ya know!.....You should prolly change your body type on pof!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHO SAYS THAT?

Then I realize he must be hurt for being ditched, but still...how rude!

So I have curves...and my body type and pictures reflect exactly who I am and what I look like- that was just a mean thing to say regardless! 

I go in feeling a little self conscious but trying to fight it off, then not one, not two but three guys (not my type at all but still flattering), say how I am "Working it". A guy that isn't into curves wouldn't be into me, and thats fine. I have a ghetto booty and I know how to work it evidentally. ;)

I ended up meeting up with my friends and having an awesome night....with alcohol involved.

4/21/11: Mr. AVN

Setup through a friends girlfriend, I had met Mr. AVN twice before our date at his place of employment. Seemingly a great guy with great references. We decided to meet for a late dinner near his place about 20 minutes from me. Before I leave he let's me know by text that he will be wearing a suit jacket and thought it would be nice if I were to wear tight jeans, black shirt and black boots with a heel. Kinda odd but I go with it. I drive and immediately as I exit my parked car, he drives up and I get in his car. (This was okay only cause I knew his friends and had met him prior to our date...otherwise, getting in his car or even meeting at his place would be a big no no)

The restaurant he was planning on, closed in literally 5 minutes, so he drives like a bat outa hell to get there.
Now, I am the type of person who would NEVER show up anywhere that was about to close, so I am already uncomfortable but it's his thing, so whatever. We get there and the staff was obviously annoyed with us, but they can't deny us. Turned out the server knew him so it wasn't terrible. Dinner was amazing...he bought, including a bottle of wine. After dinner we decide to go back to his place to watch what was left of my Thursday night comedy shows (30Rock). This is where the night got interesting.
He spoke of his high heel fetish and wanted to know about every pair of heels I own in detail...then after 30Rock ended I was about to leave when he turns on the AVN awards, which for those that are unaware is the Adult Video Network...meaning porn awards. I was laughing hysterically at first thinking he was kidding, but oh no...he wanted to watch! He asked to cuddle and tried to kiss me a couple times but I pulled away....he got a peck and begged for more, then offered up some clothes to get me comfy. He tried to take my boots off at least three times (I am not into that foot fetish thing), and I denied him on all of the above. Around 11:20 or so, I left....

Then....the following day I find out he had been texting my girlfriend that he had met the night prior to our date through me. Thankfully I have an awesome friend who first told me he contacted her thru facebook and he asked her to text him. I told her it was no biggie to me if she talked to him and neither of us really thought much of it. She asked how our date was and he said "Just two friends having dinner!"....that's not the impression he gave me! and then he asked her to go out that following night. That's when we knew he was trying to play us both. Obviously as friends we talk...retard!
I think once he knew we both knew he knew he was caught and stopped texting both of us!...
NEXT!

3/28/2011: Ice Queen/Soul Sister

Monday night, at the bar alone, just having a glass of beer.

The bar is quiet and I am not expecting anything to come of the night other than some fun batter with the bartender while I enjoy my beverage and whatever may be on the television.

I look to my right and see another single girl sitting at the bar. 

This is highly unusual. I am usually the only single girl who also happens to be attractive that sits at bars alone!

I was just telling my parents the night before how I need to focus on making girlfriends...then she talked.

The bartender asked if she would like another drink. She looks at him with a straight face and says "What do you think?"

The bartender looks at me with a look that can only be described as "WHOA...What a BITCH!"

She gets up to go to the bathroom and the bartender and I begin to talk about her and how she must be a miserable person to have a wall up so high. We named her the ice queen. As she was returning we were laughing (at her)...and it just so happened a woman with OBVIOUS fake boobs just left the bar; so when the ice queen looked over at me and asked what we were laughing at, I used the fake boobs as a scapegoat. Ice Queen now letting her guard down a little bit stated she saw them too and how ridiculous they looked.

Bartender and I shared in a giggle yet again.

After about 2 minutes I lean over to the Ice Queen in hopes of clearing my own conscious and let her in on our secret. 

I will either be bitch slapped or make a new friend.

Thankfully the latter was true.

Turns out the Ice Queen is my new Soul Sister. The wall was just the exterior of her sarcastic sense of humor and a way to cope with being a single girl at a bar. I got it- I have a wall normally too when I am alone. I had just been to this particular bar a LOT since they opened and was comfortable with the bartender. Turns out the Ice Queen and I were VERY similar in many different aspects, but we bonded over being single mostly. We ended up talking all night and even returning to the bar a couple days later together.

Ever since we have been joined at the hip. I've met her best friend of 10 years and now the three of us are inseparable. I've already met some interesting and wonderful people thru them, expanding my horizons and helping me to move on from my past, just as I am helping her.

I now have a war buddy to fight on with through this suburban battlefield we call singledom!
(The third friend is married with two amazing kids- all of which I now love as much as my new girlfriends!)

3/2/2011: Back on the horse?

Nope!

I took the chance on another one and it was horrible!

Once again a man states he is Caucasian, no mention of another heritage or peak into his real life/roots in any of the emails we exchanged, even though I had asked, so I was to assume everything he told me was truth...WRONG!

Not that I have anything against other ethnicity's, but I know I am not attracted sexually to anything other then the white boys...people always say I should give something else a chance, but I just know it won't work!...Case in point:

I meet him and he looked nothing like his images and was straight from Isreal just a couple months ago. VERY broken English and I had to explain everything I said. Already annoyed and wanting to run, I ask if he wants to get a coffee or drink. He declines and states he has no money. Not even money for a coffee? Nice. I drove about an hour to meet with this guy (I had nothin else to do and love the Grove anyhow, so however it went, I was looking forward to just hanging out at the Grove) and he couldn't even buy me a tea!

His idea of a date was walking in circles around the Grove (we did it 3 times before I got fed up), and it was raining! I asked multiple times to go somewhere where I wasn't getting rained on, each time he stated he loved the rain and obviously didn't care what I wanted. He also was shopping for sunglasses for himself; he would stop at each kiosk or store that may have had sunglasses. He didn't buy any cause, he had no money...but he thought it was okay to do that, which I found odd.

He was also texting most of the time, stopping just long enough to ask another lame question about who I was and then didn't listen to the answers. I started making up stuff just to see if he was listening or understood me. LOL

When I finally had enough of the rain and him, I told him I was bored and wanted to get a drink by myself. I shook his hand and bidded him adieu.

I was soaking wet from the rain, my boot heel broke and I walked into the nearest lounge for a glass of wine. The bartender took pity on me and poured me 2 free glasses, so I stayed for dinner. It ended up being a fun date with myself!

I don't know why I put myself through this dating thing...I think I need to focus on making single girlfriends so I could meet guys through friends instead!