Self Worth

This isn't a dating entry but more importantly a SELF WORTH entry.
This past weekend I was I in the land of beautiful, "perfect" people or also known as Hermosa Beach, CA. It seemed that everyone there was early to late 20's with rock hard bodies, perfect tans, flowey healthy hair and white teeth. Everyone looked well rehearsed in the art of having a good time. Their outward appearance matched what I felt on the inside about my own life in the comfort of "the Bubble". I generally feel good about my life, myself and choices but this place made me question everything I knew.
I was attacked verbally and emotionally by a female while I was out with 2 of my guy friends for the evening, at a bar. I didn't think females did this type of emotional attacking past high school age. My guard was down as I've come to trust the female species as a sort of alliance against harmful body image and generic tearing down from all the world has to offer an adult woman. I wasn't prepared or expecting the evening to result in a near emotional break down and I wanted to take a moment to tell you of my experience in hopes that someone somewhere may read it and relate and maybe pass on so that we can finally end bullying; it doesn't end in grade school or high school. There are adult bullies out there and it needs to STOP. Life is hard enough!


Entering the bar in the land of beautiful people, my 2 guy friends sat down next to a group of 3 females. Being on my own at this point, I head to the bar to grab a beer for myself. I am already feeling self conscious since my guy friends hadn't wasted any time at all and had left me to fly on my own for the night before I was really ready.
I look around for someone to make friends with but everyone was already coupled up or deep into drinking games, so I head back out to the patio where I had left my friends with the 3 females. The guys motion for me to come over and introduce me. I am pleasant and sit on the chair opposite the 3 females to make small talk. Something I personally dread but I do it for my friends and I am secretly proud of myself for being so nice to these girls who I had gotten a bad gut feeling about in the beginning. They act fake nice to me and ask me to sit with them on the bench; I decline and explain I get chlosterphobic, plus I like having an easy exit just in case I spot someone I want to chat it up with. We share some laughs and conversation and when my 2 guy friends choose one female each from the 3, the 3rd calls over a group of guys sitting nearby. The group of guys joins us by pushing tables together and we all start talking. Almost instantly, the girl starts attacking me. It started with where I lived. The men had asked where we were from and when I said Thousand Oaks, she started talking about how terrible, awful, ugly Thousand Oaks was. When I try to defend my hometown I find myself getting angry. I finally ask "Have you ever Been to Thousand Oaks?" because it didn't sound like she knew it at all....turned out she hadn't but her reply was more than that, it started getting personal and ugly! "No, but they obviously like to eat there, and I don't like fat people" while she looked me up and down. She continued with snide remarks while smiling and calling me "sweetie" as if trying to hide her digs. I have not been so insulted as an adult, ever. I was so embarrassed by her and for her! I WAS having a pleasant conversation with the guys next to us but it just became her jabbing at me. She didn't know me at all but she felt that breaking me down would build herself up to these guys, I think? This women felt the need to personally attack me and make not only myself but the guys we were talking to as well so uncomfortable!
If she had been young and drunk I may have let it roll off my back a little more and chalked it up to high school mentality still playing a role but she didn't look a day under 35. She was without ring, so on the prowl and possibly jealous that I was chatting it up with possibly a guy she wanted? It almost always comes down to a boy, right? At least that was my experience in high school....
I am not a size 2. Never have been , never will be...but I am also not 200lbs. I am healthy, I have curves and I am self conscious about them because of women like the one I met and had this encounter with. I allowed her words and her smug smile get to me, deep inside where all my insecurities already live and allowed her to pierce through my thick skin releasing feelings I try really hard to keep at bay everyday. There is already so much in the media about 'SKINNY IS BEAUTIFUL', it is already hard to date when men are expecting magazine models and as women we need to lift each other up, not tear down! It is ridicules when just a few sentences can break down an otherwise strong, (mostly) confident woman.
As adults, we all know life is difficult at best; let's work together and not against one another. Let's use the tools we all learned as children, 'Treat others the way you'd like to be treated", "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all", "Help your neighbor"....
If my girls had been out with me instead of 2 guy friends, this woman would have ended up in the hospital for sure. My guy friends were clueless and didn't hear what she was saying to me; they only saw her smiling and when I told them what was actually happening, they didn't believe me. Finally one of them started to pay attention and as soon as she made another nasty remark to me he got up and took me with him saying, "Enough!". It was almost like I was in shock and couldn't move myself...I just kept looking at her saying "Really? Are you actually saying these things right now?!" I think at one point I did tell her I would love nothing more then to sock her in her ugly face but that I didn't feel like spending the night in jail...
I have surrounded myself with such good hearted amazing people that I forgot people were that ugly on the inside! This just proved that while you can be a size 2 on the outside and make yourself up to look pretty, on the inside you can still be as ugly as a troll. That is what this woman was and I was glad to witness it hindering her that night; the guys that were sitting next to us saw how ugly she really was and left the same time we did.


We really need to stop the Beauty Madness and realize everyone is beautiful in their own way. Do not tear down but rather build up those around you; whether you know them or not! Everyone has a story to tell and insecurities deep inside. Treat others the way you'd want to be treated and LADIES, CAN WE PLEASE STICK TOGETHER in this crazy world? We are ALL insecure about SOMETHING; Don't bully!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/08/stop-the-beauty-madness_n_5566885.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063