9/24/2010: Mr. Simmons

Friday

Location: Zin Bistro

I had never been to Zin Bistro and didn't know it was at the Landing on Westlake, but once I found it, I also found Mr. Simmons waiting outside for me. The place was very romantic and he had asked for a reservation on the patio next to the lake...good start.

He was just barley making tall enough for me, and maybe a little under with the boots I was wearing...but he knew how to make me laugh...if even it was at his own expense.

He confessed to have danced to a Richard Simmons workout tape once...yup...so that's what earned him his Mr. name!

In the darkened ambiance lighting, he resembled a boy I once knew in Elementary school, and I couldnt get my mind off that...the boy I knew is now gay and a professional dancer. With the looks and his confession, I really couldn't take this guy seriously, even though it wasn't really his fault!

Mr. Simmons looked to be about 24 but he claimed to be 32.

Turned out Mr. Simmons is divorced and not super scorned, like some are....and he is waiting to see if he passed the bar to become a lawyer. Mr. Simmons paid for a lavish meal that I never would have been able to afford; and it was really yummy! We shared a bottle of wine and interests.

It ended with Mr. Simmons attempting to kiss me in the parking lot, but I had a mint in my mouth and the timing wasn't right and I wasn't into him as much as he (apparently) was into me...we laughed about it though and he asked if he could take me out again. 

It's been a couple days since and still no text or call...I think it's safe to say online dating lacks a follow through! However, on match I have found more suitable and seriously looking men!

9/17/2010: Mr. Giggles

Friday

Location: BJ's

A little hesitant on going out with a guy younger then me (by 4 years) but, he really wanted to prove to me he wasn't a typical 24 year old. He didnt live at home,  had a great job and claimed to be old fashioned.

I have to admit, it was nice being out with a guy who hadn't yet been effed over by a psychotic chick yet.

However, it proved to myself that the nativity is no longer "cute" and I am obviously more pessimistic then I thought.

I met Mr. Giggles at BJ's although, to give him credit he offered to pick me up like a gentleman. When I refused and told him why (more pessimism about the world we live in today and creeps out there...Maybe I am the jadded one and he lives "correctly"?), he didn't bat one eye and told me he thought my approach was very safe and that he admired my honesty.

We sat at a booth in the bar and Mr. Giggles...you guessed it...giggled a lot. He seemed really nervous, which is cute. For like 5 minutes. 

He was trying so hard to be so "adult" at one point he even spilled his beer (Which is amazing btw: Go try their Octoberfest beer right now!)....He kept mumbling and giggling and apologizing.

When he finally settled in a little bit we had some nice conversation, but I totally felt old with him! I know it's only 4 years but...little things like not being up on the new fangled drinking games out there or some of the lingo he used....me dating myself with listing off old favorite cartoons...yikes!

At one point he told me, "I expected you to be like older or something"....I have NO IDEA how to take that. HAHA

Whatever.

At least he tried.

Paid the bill (gave away a secret that he always pays for everything and thinks thats how it should be), walked me to my car and didnt try to make a cheesy move. I respect that.

I just know some girl will break this poor fool down eventually! He is sooo green and I just need someone with a little more confidence, experience and less giggling!

9/15/2010: Mr. 40

Wednesday

Location: Stuft Pizza TGIFridays Sunset Terrace/Bed of Truck

Now, I know what your thinking. Is he Mr. 40 cause he was 40 years old? And why was the location the bed of his truck? Did you DO IT with a 40 year old?

No and Hell No.

Let me start from the very beginning...as one of my favorite people of all time said in the movie about Nazi's and the original octomom sans mom said.....

After a horrible week of just feeling shitty, and a dinner with my folks, Mr. 40 asked me to have a drink with him and while I was exhuasted and made sure he knew I would not be all gussied up...I agreed. He was a mutual friend of this guy I know and while said "guy" doesn't approve of me ever "dating" this guy, Mr. 40 offered a beer and I needed it.

So, I walk over to meet him at Stuft Pizza and they were closed. Great. Strike one.

Half more strike that Mr. 40's truck was DEAD!

He tried calling several friends to come jump him (since I don't own cables)...and we decide to walk over to TGIFridays. When we are almost there, Mr. 40 suggests Sunset Terrace. I personally can't stand the place, but whatever. Its a free beer I'm after tonight...I don't care where from.

We get there, order two large Blue Moons and the next 30 minutes (I kid you not) is spent with him texting and calling people to come give his truck a jump. I sit there, as if alone and drink my beer, no saying a word to this guy!...awesome "date" dude!

While I understand the urgency and all of a dead truck and finding cables...it's still a little annoying!

He tried to get his brother down to help him, his dad...(like THAT wouldn't have been awkward)...but everyone says no. It kind of says a lot about a guy when their own brother or dad tell them to F off....no?

When that finally ends and he decides to use his AAA card if and when the time comes, we try to have a conversation,,, but Mr. 40 mumbles and speaks in inuendos and sarcastic quips, (which generally I pick up on)...but given the mumbles, they are hard to make out. At one point I beleive he said that if worse came to worse we could walk back to my place and makeout while we wait for AAA....

Uh...ya right dude!

It wasn't until we decided to walk back to his truck  that I finally started enjoying the evening.

The truck started. Thank God.

He talked me into going through the Jack in the Box drive thru with him, and then to 7-11.

We picked up 2 Michelob Ultra 40's, parked in a vacant parking lot, sat in the bed of his truck and drank them while we were listening to a Journey album on my iPhone.

How awesomly white trash is that?!

LMAO

FML!

I called it a night when I finally had to pee and I jumped out, started walking home and told Mr. 40 good night without much of a warning that I was ACTUALLY leaving.

He drove off, said to call him if I got raped and that was that.

He did text me on his way home to ask me to write back when I got home safe.

I did.

Make it home safely...without much of a raping.

Yay.
Another day of work tomorrow.....another crying session in my car at lunch.
UGH. Are there no real sane men out there who know how to treat a woman?

First Impressions

Being on the online dating sites, I have seen a lot of...interesting ways men try to grab your attention through first impression emails. While most of the FREE sites are full of horny boys looking for hookups, which I end up just deleting (although I've learned a lot; like what DSL and DTF mean)...I came across one today that was very clever, well thought out and witty enough for me to actually reply to:

"after a rigorously brief glance at your profile.. i gotta tell you I've already married and divorced you in my head... lol

some how you got to keep the puppy though.... So I'm keeping the house in maui, HI.hahaha.. u seemed fun...Daniel"

Another interesting one I got today:

"Is your name Google?"

I am curious to know the punch line of that one!...

Messages that I don't reply to include:

Message, followed by translation/my response in ()

:Hey, what's up? (Boring)

:Hello gorgeous (So cliche/not original, clever or REALLY interested)

:Are you DTF? (Uh..NO!)

:You look like you could suck a mean.... (Really, dude?!?)

:Wanna Cyber? (Umm, what are we back in 1993?)

:Nice Pics! (Creepy Stalker typw just looking at pretty girls, not wanting anything more)

:What up? Followed with a picture of a white boy thugged out throwing a gang sign...(No, thanks!)

:do you ever go out in hollywood? (Party boy, not interested)

9/09/2010: Mr. Britalian

Thursday

Location: Gellato's

At first I couldn't tell if he was from Britain or Australia with the VERY odd accent (that I thought he was faking at first). Turns out, he has lived both places! It took awhile to get use to it, but now I know why a lot of people mistake Brits for homosexuals. LOL

A nice lad though.

We went to order drinks and he offered up a $50 bottle of red wine. I tried to steer him to just a $7 glass but he insisted. Dinner was lovely and while I don't even want to know what the end bill was, I had a nice time. Learned a lot about London and Australia as well. HA!
He is however newly divorced and in the midst of trying to sell "their" house (no, she doesn't live there any longer)...One thing I dislike though: He actually LIKES the valley! Said he could never live in Ventura County cause it is just too quiet for him. This would never work cause I dislike the valley very much. That and I don't know if I would ever get use to calling soccer football! (oh! and I'd just stare at his teeth all the time...super cliche British teeth!)
It wasn't horrible enough however to write Mr. Britalian off completely yet. We have similar sense of humor and had a genuinely nice evening. 

If nothing else, I stay good friends with Mr. Britalian and have a place to stay if I ever travel to London! :)

9/07/2010: Mr. Everywhere

Tuesday

Location: El Torito

It started with an awkward standoff in the parking lot. Not sure who should cross first and then with two cars blocking our paths, finally Mr. Everywhere ran over and gave me a hug.

By far the most attractive guy I've met, and instantly attracted to him. That being said, still (even more so) skeptical of him however. Usually the pretty ones just want to party and "hang out", although he WAS on match.com, so I am hoping for something more mature.

We go upstairs to the bar, order some beer and $1 tacos and begin to talk.

Turns out, Mr. Everywhere knows EVERYWHERE I've been. He asked where I was born:

Garden City Michigan....turns out he has an aunt who lives there.

I grew up in Walteria Torrance...most of his family went to South High, right down the street and his grandparents live right behind a local burger joint there (Y NOT BURGER).

After high school I moved to Orange County and worked at the South Coast Plaza...which he too worked at around the same time!

Almost not believing him except all the details of the areas he was describing. Almost blew my mind.

I try to tell him about the coolest bar I've been to, up in Los Olivos and before I can even say the name, he does! MAVERICK'S. He has friends who live locally near it and knows it well. 

Unbelievable!

So, Mr. Everywhere is department manager of men's shoes at Nordstroms. Not super glamourous, but it allows him to move around at will, depending on if there is a Nordstrom's and an open position, but he is looking for a real relationship now and looking to settle down with someone who may not be ready to "settle" somewhere....if that makes sense. 

While he may not be the "one", he may be fun to hang at a bar with. Same type of sense of humor, similar likes and dislikes:

likes being College Football, sarcasm, Sushi and chick flicks....Dislikes including: super obese people who don't try to lose weight.

One of the only unattractive things about Mr. Everywhere?

Werewolf hands!

Super hairy knuckles and top of hands! LOL

I know, I shouldn't be too critical!

hahaha

Mr. Everywhere had a 6am LAX pickup of a friend, and he PINKY SWEARED it was a true story, and not a way to cut the evening short: (Which he admitted to doing in the past with woman he met online, even going so far as to going to the bathroom and setting his phone up to ring 3 minutes later!)...I thought it was cute he wanted to pinky swear, cause I do it all the time!

But then he said he wanted to go back to his place to watch a movie cause he wouldn't be able to get to sleep till like 1am anyhow...kinda mixed signal. Then he said he didnt want to invite me over cause he hadn't cleaned his apt. LOL. I wouldnt go anyhow, Mr. Everywhere! haha.

We decided to end the night and in the parking lot we exchanged a friendly hug while he said "Peace out Girl Scout"...Something one of my friends would say! Maybe beginning of a cool friendship, but nothing more?

Likely.

Coolest thing about the date:
Well, it didn't start out cool...Check comes and I reach for my wallet (to be polite knowing however I have ZERO money!) and Mr. Everywhere says, "So, split down the middle or what?" I say yes and fuddle with my purse, "looking for my card" When finally Mr. Everywhere said he'd just take care of it this time...PHEW!...The bill is around $35, but when he gets it back with his card to sign, it says only $10!...He looks at me, shows me the bill, tells me not to say anything, grabs my hand and leads me out in a hurry. HAHA...
While, I don't usually condone stealing, I now don't have to feel guilty for him paying the whole bill!

9/04/2010: Mr. Footsie

Saturday

Location: Mediteranneo/Bogies

Prepared for me to say yes to a date, Mr. Footsie had already made 8pm dinner reservations at this VERY nice restaurant in Westlake Village. Since his match.com profile was so well written, obvious thought had been put in and his emails to me where clear he had actually took the time to READ mine, I agreed to dinner. He was tall, dark hair, decent looking (but kinda had bulgy fish eyes)...I meet him out front of the restaurant and we walk in to our waiting table.

Mr. Footsie right away taps my shoe. Thinking it was a mistake I move my foot out of the way. Soon after, it happens again. Now, it is a small table, but c'mon guy! Stay on your side! I move again thinking it was another mishap. Then it happens again with a more rubbing motion...This guy is trying to play FOOTSIES with me! LOL

I try to play it off and keep moving my feet throughout dinner trying to give him the hint I am not interested without being super blunt and tell him, just in case I am in the wrong and he really isn't trying to play footsies with me....

Dinner was AMAZING. The food.

I also pocketed the mini carafs that the wine was poured out of...they were VERY cute...and my grandmother would have been proud. HAHAHA

Conversation wasn't horrible either. Talked about wine tasting and how neither of us REALLY know what we are doing with it; we just like to drink it! haha

He talked about his $1500 one night tab on tequilla...one shot was $500! WTF? 

Why would anyone spend that kinda money on alcohol? The answer he told me was to show off. Fair enough.

Turns out, Mr. Footsie is an aircraft mechanic, owns a condo he is redecorating to rent out so he can hopefully buy a house within the year. Good head on his shoulders, obviously comfortable, financially but one thing really turned me off. He is the youngest in his family with his closest sibling being 9 years older. He isn't close to his family and often will spend the holidays in Hawaii. 

I am really looking for a family man!

Not to waste the evening, we head next door to Bogie's to cougar watch. Turned out it was a bunch of OLD men and young woman....what do they call OLD men who prey on young girls?...Is it just "Dirt ol' men?"...hmm

Anyway, we grab a couple seats in the crowded outside patio and share generic conversation. At one point a couple sits next to us from San Diego who are in town for the weekend for a wedding. We make friends and while I am up using the ladys room they grill Mr. Footsies asking if it was our first date. He said yes and the guy immediatly said "Is this a match.com thing?" hahaha...I would have been truthful, but evidentally Mr. Footsie is ashamed of his online dating status and said we met through mutual friends. When I get back he told me about the grilling and wanted to be sure I was on the "same page" in case they asked me. HAHAHA

When he got up I was indeed faced with the questions...I went along with his story as to not completely embarrass him when he returned.

So now on this date I have stolen and now lied.

I had been sipping on one martini all night when Mr. Footsie had downed 5 beers (after 2 glasses of wine at dinner)...I could tell he was starting to get a little drunk. That was my que to end the evening. I made sure we had water and then we walked to my car, said good night and left.

He texted me on my way home that he thought I was adorable and he can't wait to hang out again.

Maybe.

9/03/2010: Mr. Golf/Match.com/Mr. Magic

Friday

Location: CPK ASAP

Mr. Golf is a few years younger than me and I had been telling him that I won't date someone as young as he for legitamite reasons and after he tried so hard to convince me he was different, I decided to meet up with him for a late night, quick dinner. Since CPK ASAP closed at 9, that gave us a half hour! He took the half hour to exaplin how mature he was and how ready to settle down within the next 5 years he was. Turns out, Mr. Golf plays at a professional level and is one step away from playing on the PGA tour. Quite a big accomplishment for someone under 26. He went on about living at home still but he has a 5 year plan to buy a home in Sherwood. It may have been all talk to try and impress me, but what impressed me even more was the fact I actually heard any of it.

You see, I was somewhat distracted by the apperance of Mr. Golf.

First, he resembled my ex, a lot...but was much taller (and skinnier, which I dont care for.)

Sidenote: Aren't there any TALL guys that aren't bean poles?! ugh. Annoying!

But the thing that really got me was...his ear.

Ya, his ear! His right ear in particular.

It had this large brown HAIRY mole on the lobe.

I couldn't stop staring.

It was both grotesque and fascinating. LOL

Mr. Golf was a gentleman and bought the large pizza which we split and he took the leftovers.

Awkward hug ended the evening and we walked to our separate cars.

Nice kid, but I think that's about it.

UPDATE: Mr. Golf texted me the following day to ask me to a movie at my apartment. LOL. He wanted to do a DVD day at a home, and obviously not his since his parents live there. HAHAH. My excuse for saying no was work but even if I hadn't had to work I'd of said no. DVD days in are reserved for when I am in a relationship and feel comfortable cuddling with someone!

So, after my date with Mr. Golf, I came home and turned on the TV. There it was...an add for eHarmony telling me it's a free communication weekend. A sign from those marketing devils themselves...So, what do I do? Well, I say to hell with it and make a profile on eharmony.

BUT!

Turns out, you can only read about people- you cant SEE their pictures with a free account! This is hooie!

If there were a dislike button I would have pressed it! Maybe twice even!

So, since I am already sitting at my computer, I switch over to match.com just to see...

I make a free profile and here I can SEE people. Amazing. I can also send/receive "winks" for free...

But then the emails started pouring in, and I can't open them or even see who they are from with the stupid free account....so, after a lot of hard thinking I do it. I sign up for ONE MONTH only.With only one month, I don't get the fancy "guarantee" but with already 20 emails in my inbox, I'm sure I can find SOMEONE who will reimburse the $32 fee! hahaha

One of the first messages I received on match was from an illusionist. Like a magic man...think Kris Angel type but not as freaky. He used his real name in his profile and so I googled to see if he was actually anyone. Turns out, he is an up and coming. Been on the ellen show, had a couple "specials" on prime time...he is legit and really good at what he does! Intrigued after I saw a couple youtube clips (he had one where he puts a piece of string and 3 razor blades in his mouth and ties the blades to the string in his mouth...obviously good with his tongue. LOL...) and enjoyed his charisma, I write him back. He is a little goofy and over the top, but he does it well. Very confident, composed...but seemed like a nice guy who was really interested in me. I asked him why he was on match if he works with famous people and models, he could get anyone he wanted; and his reply was cause he hadn't met me yet. Totally a line and very cheesy, but hey, I am a girl and I eat that shit up! LOL

After a couple back and fourths on the site, we exchange numbers and we text throughout the night. Turns out he is on a US tour right now and will be back in LA in 2 weeks. He asked to take me out to dinner and I told him to ask me again when he is back in the area. He is a very smooth talker!

"The difference in a man who says something 'romantic' and a man who says something 'smooth' is in the amount of woman he's saying it to. I'm a romantic"

"Would you beleive me is I predicted we'd have a second date?" (He is a magician! He predicts stuff in his acts...hahah. That's not even FAIR!)

"Thinking of you" (That one was out of the blue during the next day)

I came back with "Awe. That's sweet. Trying to earn those early points, huh? LOL" His reply:

"I'm not trying to earn. I'm trying to give" 

A couple hours later he asked how my day was and I told him I was just working. He then says "I want to make your day spectacular!"

"How ya gunna do that?" I asked

"By telling you how amazing you are"

"You don't know that yet!"

"I can predict the future remember? The fun part is gonna be finding out how right I am ;)"

Already I can tell if nothing else, this will be fun.

Interested to see this guy yet? hahaha....

Check him out with my favorite person ever (Intern Ross) on one of his specials...click here

I'd be worried a guy like him being a performer would always be "on"...or maybe he is so good that he can control my mind or somethin freaky...hmm

(FYI: The pic above is not of Mr. Magic himself) ;)

9/02/2010: Mr. C Word!

Wow, just another reason I may need to look into paid dating sites...

Mr. C Word! sent an IM thru a dating site I'm on, trying to initiate conversation. He started with the fact that I am a gemini and when I didnt respond right away he started insulting me saying it was typical of a gemini and my energy was not good. I kept ignoring him and he kept talking, popping up while I was attempting to talk to someone else. It was annoying, so I finally asked him to upload a picture. I told him he may get a better response from woman if he uploaded a pic and didnt insult them right off the bat.

He asked if I was a gamer or poser.I told him no, I'm a real person. Then he asked me to meet him. He said he was a regular at Mr. Chow's in Bev Hills and that I should be impressed by that. HAHAH Ya right! I told him I wouldnt meet someone in person if they insult me online, that I was not impressed with fancy restaurants or status and I don't plan to meet someone who doesnt have a picture up. He called me a coward. I told him I was done with this conversation and told him good luck. 

His response? Calling me the C word! Yes! Can you believe that?

I then blocked the user.

He then sent me a message through the site (the blocking just blocks them from sending IM's)....

Foul Language is used, be aware!:

"GO FUCK YOURSELF REAL HARD YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS CUNT"

Sep. 2, 2010 – 7:13pm FAKE-ASS COWARDLY C U N T!!! YOU REPRESENT NOTHING MORE THAN THE TYPE OF SCUM THAT CONTINUES TO PERPETUATE THE ALREADY F'D UP HUMAN CONDITION. YOU ARE UNABLE TO DEAL WITH CONFRONTATION WITH PEOPLE ON ANY LEVEL. I FUCKING RESENT SHIT LIKE YOU. AND FURTHER, IF YOU REALLY THINK THINK THAT YOU ARE ALL THAT, THEN YOU HAD BETTER THINK AGAIN. FOR ONE THING, THAT SNOZOLA (PIG NOSE) OF YOURS, IS UTTERLY REPULSIVE. YOU SHOULD HIGHLY CONSIDER GETTING THAT SHIT OFF YOUR FACE LOL!"

I think the most offensive part, (besides the C word)..is the nose comment! I've never received any bad comments about my nose before! I think I have a cute nose! LOL...wow, what some men do to get attention of a woman, huh?...I think that guy has some serious issues!

I reported him.

Paid Dating Site?

So...is it that time? 

Time for me to pursue a PAID dating site?

Obviously the free ones haven't worked thus far...and everyone tells me I should be trying match.com or eharmony. I just don't have the money to spend on them! They require 3 or 6 months up front or like $40 for 1 month! CRAZY!

If you think it is time for me to be on a paid site...send me money! LOL

(no, seriously..I need funds!)

Thoughts?