12/29/09: Mr. Frencher

Tuesday 


A little reluctantly I agreed to a dinner after work even though I hadn't had time to change or anything. We met at BJ's and had to make small talk while we waited on a table. We finally sat after about 15 minutes and ordered one dish to split. He continued talking and offered much information about himself, including the fact that he didn't get his first kiss until he was 18 years old. (Already a red flag there). He continued with the fact he has only had two partners and his longest relationship has been only 4 months!...Dinner ended with a split pazookie which I only had two bites of and then the check came. Taking everyone's advise I didn't offer to pay for half and kept my purse on the chair next to me without making the "reach" for my wallet. He asked ME out, so he should pay...right?...WRONG! He asked if I would mine picking up half the bill!! He said the holidays had hit him hard so he wanted me to pay for my portion. LOL! He walked me to my car, opened my door then asked me if we could hang out again. He decided next Monday would work best for him as he already had plans all New Years weekend. When I told him I would check my schedule and get back to him, he then proceeded to ask me for a "FRENCHER"!...For those of you who are not aware...a "Frencher", I learned tonight is a French Kiss!...I looked at him like he was nuts and told him no. I got in my car and drove home.

Still without a date for New Years, I think I am better off alone!...
more to come......stay tuned!

12/20/09: Mr. No Chemistry

Sunday

After a cancellation on Friday and two time changes on Sunday, I was a little reluctant to meet up with this guy...especially after a black cat crossed my path as I was walking out of my apartment on my way to the car! After an hour sitting in a Starbucks in Agoura and straining my ears to hear him and looking into his one lazy eye, I had had enough...the eye wasn't horrible and I know I was being over judgmental, but he was just so soft spoken and mumbely, it seemed to enhance his other less then wonderful qualities on the first encounter. Straining to hear wasn't even worth it as he really didnt have much to say...also he was texting "his sister" the entire time. Definitely not what I expected form his pictures and profile. He looked like a muscly white "thug" for the most part, which I wasn't thrilled to be meeting but had nothing else to do, and I got a free chai tea latte out of it. :)
No chemistry.

12/15/09: Mr. Baby Face

Tuesday


The only one to even get a second date...he was persistent and asked me to dinner after work on a Tuesday to an Italian restaurant (his favorite) in Westlake. While I had been there before and just thought it was EH, I didnt have the heart to tell him as he was very excited to take me there. The food was just generic Italian- I had chicken parm and it was the same as Ive had a million places...the house cab was gross but he loved it...obviously not a wine drinker...(one point marked off)...and the conversation was all about movies and shows and actors. He obviously still wants to act and write but has "realized" he needs to do something more stable. He is currently finishing his training to become a bank teller. He also dropped the bomb that he lives with mom and dad...Not horrible if he had some money saved and was looking for a place of his own, but he didnt mention anything of the sort. Is it bad that I found myself hoping the night was over only like 15 minutes in? I know, I know!...He is a very sweet guy though- Just a bit immature or under-developed or something for me...While he says all the right things, I don't believe him and don't think he is at the level I would need him to be yet! He went in for the kiss, but I pulled away telling him MAYBE next time. He tried again, and that kind of sealed the deal for me!...I will need to let him down gently...

12/11/09: Mr. Baby Face

Friday 

Second date was a movie and drinks, which was nice. The movie (The Blind Side) was AWESOME! The after movie drinks and appetizer were pleasant but my flirty innuendos and witty comments seemed to have been lost on him. He was a super straight laced guy with seemingly no edge, telling me he never did a keg stand or anything in college, even with being in a fraternity. I imagined the celibacy fraternity off campus where the guys help their local community and don't drink...which are awesome traits and all but I guess I want a little hard edge to a guy. I would fear boredom with a super straight laced guy. not to say I want the fraternity d-bag or anything, cause I dont, but isnt there something in between?

12/9/09: Mr. BFG

Wednesday

Driving down to Sherman Oaks to meet Matt half way at the Chimney Sweep lounge, exchanging severe sarcasm and laughs, choosing songs on the juke box while the only other patrons were 3 old men...going over the basic topics of favorite food, favorite music, movies etc he seemed to be able to keep up with my wit/charm/sarcasm...he could dish it and take it, which was nice. He had sent me a picture of himself in firemen gear and never said he WASNT a firefighter...although never said he was either: I found out he was an actor/writer by day and a server by night. Definitely not on a salary that would allow me to stay home...so I was a little bummed with that, but he may be worth a second date...maybe. A self proclaimed metro who has a bfg (best friend girl) ; that was a little weird- however he didnt mind me calling him gay for that and seemed to be secure with his own manly-ness...With the long drive home, I called it a night around 10 and drove home.

12/8/09: Mr. Baby Face

Tuesday 


On a near freezing night I met Mr. Baby Face at the Coffee Bean at the Lakes shopping center. Sitting in the back corner sipping on hot tea we had some generic first meeting conversation then were booted out of the coffee shop since TO rolls up the sidewalks at 9pm. We move the conversation over to Sunset Terrace where we both just drank water and (probably) pissed off the waitress! :P
Being a nice night was a refreshing change of pase with my past online encounters. Would need more time/conversation to see if Mr. Baby Face will be worthy of a fun upbeat date with me. Not sure if he could handle me.lol :) Mr. Baby Face just got a job at a bank as a teller...and did work as an actor in the entertainment industry... :/

12/6/09: Mr. SERIOUSLY?!

Sunday
 
This guy texted me asking what I would be wearing so he knows me..(this will be important as the story progresses)...We met for tea/coffee at Starbucks in Camarillo...first he texted me the location with a link to Google Maps- so I go to the location...he isnt there..so I call and ask if he would be late. He states he is already there...but uhh...he isnt...Turns out, he went to the wrong Starbucks...he had forgotten which one he texted me...this is already weird. So I ask him if I should find the one he is at or if I should stay put...His choice was for ME to drive across town to where he was at. I thought about just going home (and I should have at this point), but I drive, giving him the benefit of the doubt....boy oh boy should I have gone home!...I get there and he is MATCHING ME...I told him what I was going to be wearing and he took that upon himself to MATCH ME!) this already being weird...he was sitting on a sofa and doesnt get up or anything to greet me- just hands me a liquor store rose we bought me. This was an excellent angle though for me to see that he was BALDING....had just a small patch of hair toward the forehead...There were so many things wrong with this meeting...first he was not caucatisan like he had said online- he was somesort of mix for sure but olive skin...not entirely sure what ethnicity and didnt care enough to ask. I sat there uncomfortably for a half hour listening to him talk about something...again, didnt care enough to really be listening...but I did notice the fact he had this weird face twitch the entire time and he was talking through a mouth full of braces...the teeth he did have (yes, there were some missing) were spaces out way far from each other...If that werent enough, he would stare at me with this awkward creepy glazed over look...and when he got up to walk me to my car he was not 6' as he stated online...in fact he was barely my height at 5'7!...So not offering to buy even a tea or coffee at Starbucks I told him I had to leave. He begged me to stay longer or plan a dinner for later in the evening or another day. I told him I dont think that will be happening and it seemed to completely deflat him. He responded with how gorgeous he thought I was thinking maybe by complementing me I would somehow overlook his dishonesty and (oh so many) flaws...it did not! I waited for him to walk to his car, get in and drive off before I walked back into Starbucks and ordered myself a chi tea latte...

12/5/09: Mr. Bull Dog

Saturday


A great location chosen by Date #2, The Landing in Westlake for sushi...bad thing: I wasnt really hungry as it was 8pm already when we met up. This one too could TALK...omg. Within an hour I knew his life story, ex's and all...also the fact that his BALD SPOTS, (yes...BALD SPOTS) were from the stress of losing his ex 5 months ago, his bills piling up and crappy job. He complained about not having any money (yet he chose to go to THE LANDING!). I only ordered 1 roll and a beer and he did in fact end up paying. Said goodbyes by my car and he wanted to setup date #2. I told him MAYBE...but the truth is, I dont want to be with someone who has that much stress in his life that he loses his HAIR!....Also, his ex and him purchased a bull dog together and when they broke up, Mr. Bull Dog got "custody" of the dog which he still owns and treats as his child...he explained to me that he was "upset" that his ex doesnt want partial custody...its not a kid!

12/4/09: Mr. Promotion/ Mr. WTF

Friday


okay, so I dont know where to meet nice, mature, eligible guys who are honest, hard working, etc etc etc...so I decided (with some coaxing from family members) to try online dating (well, not dating but online MEETING)...so after seeing a commercial for the good date la site, and seeing that it was totally FREE, I signed up. (All the other sites, like Yahoo, EHarmony,etc are like $30 a month...I'm not THAT desperate lol)...So Ive been on the www.gooddatela.com site now for like 3 weeks (1 of which I was on vacation and didnt check it)...Ive gotten hundreds of messages on there and am now one of the top 3 women (how that happened, I have NO idea!)...However most of the men contacting are shorter then 5'7 or older then 39. While there have been some OKAY guys as well, Ive had nothing but bad experiences so far with face to face "dates".
I try to set up a "date", even though its more like an interview, which will be quick, painless and public....I dont want to have to sit through a long drawn dinner if I know right away that i dont like the guy...So...I will update this blog with me experiences so that others can get a good laugh out of my misery. lmao!

Name: Mr. Promotion
Friday, December 4
Meet half way between his apt and mine (which I am totally fine with), but the restaurant he had picked (Olive Garden...really?) I couldnt find. It was in an odd location, hidden...so I called and told him I couldnt find it and we decided to meet in a better, easier to find location (Wood Ranch in Calabasas). He has lived in LA for 2 years (from NC) and had never been to a Wood Ranch. He completed this "story" by stating he only eats junk food cause he is that cheap. The rest of the meal was spent listening to him go on and on about his band. He gave me a cd and told me to tell all my friends about them...this date was a plug for his band!...I dont think I got in 2 sentences all dinner...He ended the dinner by saying he LOVES to "talk" to me...lol! The only good thing about dinner was he insisted on paying. Said our goodbyes without even a hug and I drove home scratching my head.


Name: Mr. WTF
I actually didnt even get to meet this guy in person, but had a date setup. He texted me 30 minutes before our scheduled date to tell me he had been in a motorcycle accident and was badly injured...Feeling horrible I write back that I hope he gets better soon. He responds with an MMS pic of himself at that moment looking healthy and smiling...kinda weird, right?...Well I write back to confirm it was a pic taken just then and he said yes. There was a fairly attractive women in the background and turns out to be his daughter...he isnt 32...he is 42 and has a step daughter who is 25!!!...step daughter? Yup! Thats right...he is MARRIED...and not injured at all....he forgot that it was his anniversary weekend and his wife had already planned something for the night!!...OMFG!

Single In The Suburbs: Introduction

Have you ever felt like the only single person in your town? In your City? In your County? Well, your not alone. Being single in the suburbs can often times make you feel like a leper.

I am Kristina, and this is a new blog about dating from a different perspective then I think you have heard before. Most I have found glorify single life and rave about how glamorous being single can be, surrounded by other girlfriends who also love the dating scene. I am different.

Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be married and settled down. I was a bride 4 Halloweens out of about 11 I celebrated as a child. Now, as an adult I am one of the only single people I know and have witnessed friends who at one point swore off men all together or didn't believe in marriage, walk down the aisle with a smile. I no longer have single girlfriends to go on the prowl with and no longer enjoy the hunt. I want to find love.

From an early age I can remember being interested in boys and remember my mother always telling me I had to be 16 to date. Being a normal middle school girl, I didn't want to listen and would sneak to the mall or the parks to meet boys. I was the first in my group of friends to kiss a boy: I was 13 years old and my group went to the high school football homecoming game. I was dared to kiss my "school boyfriend" for 5 seconds under the bleachers. I remember it was 5 seconds because my friend Erica had a stop watch. As our lips locked, my girlfriends shouted at the top of their lunges, "TOUCHDOWN". It was both humiliating and fantastic. From those 5 seconds, I was hooked on kissing! For the next several years, I would meet boys before school, after school, during breaks and lunches to make out. I never did anything more than making out, mostly out of fear of my mother and what she would do to me if she found out. once she caught me at the mall with a boy and all we were doing was holding hands...she pulled me out of the mall by my hair, so I didn't want to find out what would happen if I did more then kissing!

On my 16th birthday though, I was finally 5840 days old and I could have a boyfriend! On my 16th birthday I met my first love and was with him for 3 years throughout high school. When it ended, I was devastated, but my loneliness didn't last long. Within a month I had a new boyfriend.

The new boyfriend lasted, well, too long in my opinion but it was a really important relationship in my life. While it did last 3 years, I wasn't that upset when it ended. Within weeks I had met and fallen in love with my ex-husband.

Yes, that's right...I was married at one time. I was 21 years old. Young and naive, and absurdly spontaneous. I met and married this guy within 6 weeks!

While, it did last longer than most expected, we were divorced 3 years later. I will spare you the details...3 months of partying with my single girlfriends later, I was in another long term relationship. This one lasting 4 years.

My point is, since I have been 16 years old, I have been in relationships, never having to do the "Dating Scene" thing.

So now, here I am at 28 and single for the first time in my adult life. It has been about 8 months now and I have hated (almost) every second of it. I am a relationship girl through and through. Besides not knowing the hidden/unspoken dating rules, being the only single person I know now and add in the Internet/Texting which didn't really exist last time I was single, I feel like I am all alone in this "adventure".

You may be thinking that I am hideous looking or super desperate to find a date, or just want to be married and will settle for the first guy that comes along...well, you couldn't be further from the truth. I have a long list of pre-requisites and I am super picky. My list gets longer and longer the more I date and I will not settle until I find the perfect guy for me. I am on a dating website (a free one for now), which is where I have found most of my dates. Others have come from friends of friends or facebook. To ease all the MOMS out there, I am smart and safe while dating, always meeting for the first time in a well lite public place and never do I kiss on the first date (sorry guys!)...

So, to ease my own pain a little and bring a chuckle to your day, I have been and will be writing about my experiences on the dating scene.

My humiliation is your entertainment! 

I hope you enjoy.

XOXO