It was a Saturday night and my friends and I were just hanging at a house, drinking wine, talking and playing pool. It was a totally casual evening and Mr. Piano Man was in town so I decided to invite him over. I was not in a mood (nor was I sober) to drive to meet him. To my surprise, he wants to come to the house and just hang out with me and my friends! He gets tot he house and walks in, he melds very well with the group and is personable, funny, charming, etc. He fits in nicely. When everyone gets tired and starts to peel off to go to bed one at a time, Mr. Piano Man still looks comfortable. We start a game of pool, just the two of us and things start to heat up.
Having had probably one too many glasses of some kind of vodka-gatorade (or whatever we had for mixer), I allow a little too much than I normally would have, but it wasn't a first date and the only thing keeping me from really liking Mr. Piano Man is my own thought that I am not good enough for him. I've been making excuses in my head; "I'm not skinny enough for him", "he is too talented to like me", "he is probably just bored and wasting time with me until he finds someone better", "he is just going to run off and be uber famous someday and will have his pick of girls!" ...
“We accept the love we think we deserve."
The quote is so true and hits home on this one! I KNOW that I should think I deserve more but how do you actually change your way of thinking? I am holding myself back from many opportunities because deep down I don't think I deserve a good guy. This could stem from issues I haven't fully explored yet but hope to during an "OFF THE GRID" phase of dating I am considering.
Mr. Piano Man is actually making the effort to keep in contact with me and trying to plan our next date. He liked my friends and is talking about trying to drive up to where we are camping this weekend to hang for a few hours before he has to work in the evenings; I don't think I really believe that he likes me yet but I am trying!
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