If the woman in your life is telling you exactly what she wants or needs, listen! This is her way of saying she needs more effort from you and she is trying to help you;to give you a roadmap to what it is she is looking for.
If she is doing this for you, it is not to criticize or belittle the efforts you may (or may not) be making, but rather to assist you in your quest to make her happy. Think of it as giving you a Christmas wish list list rather than letting you fend for the perfect present all on your own.
Woman, we need to out in effort as well. Effort to look good for out man, listen to his rambling about work or sports, effort to not talk as much as we probably want to because he doesn't care or listen anyhow...effort to make decisions because they hate when we can't make up our minds all the time...
I recently contemplated recycling Mr. Four seasons. I had a weak moment and slightly opened the possibility the other night to him. While I haven't physically seen him, there has been some flirty texts and calls, however his schedule is still too crazy for him to carve out anytime before 10pm for me. I don't feel that a late night hang at his place is putting in any effort that would transition to anything more than what we had which was me being bored and him getting his way. I told him point blank that I needed more effort from him. His form of effort was asking me over. The simple offer to drive the 10 minutes to my place wasn't even something he could do. He felt justified that he had done his part by simpley inviting me over.
I knew once there we wouldn't talk, we wouldn't do much of anything but watch tv in bed and fall asleep. There is no way I am starting things up again to just leave off where things ended. I need and deserve more.
A text to say you're thinking of me.
This takes mere seconds and can be done from practically anywhere yet shows a girl that you care! I don't care who you are or how busy your schedule is, this one should be a no brainer!
Drive to her. I don't care if it's the first date or you've been dating for months; the guy should make the effort to drive to the woman! In my situation with Mr. Four Seasons, if he wants to start things back up, he should be making the effort as if it is brand new and he isn't.
Flowers.
Even the girl who says she doesn't like flowers, likes flowers. You don't have to remember her favorite type or spend a small fortune on an elaborate bouquet. A girl like me likes the hand picked, stolen from the neighbors garden kind of flowers. It just has to be a simple gesture that means you are putting effort into the relationship. I've had guys bring me plastic gas station flowers, I've gotten single red rose from a first date, the ones who found snap dragons for me (my personal fav), guys who have sent me bouquets at work, even one who gave me pots, soil and bulbs to plant with him so we could watch them grow together. While he didn't last till that spring, the effort they all made to make me smile will forever be with me.
Sidebar to the flowers; don't just do it when she is upset! The just because I'm thinkin about you flowers are where the real effort to keep the romance in the relationship lie!
Spend time.
We are ALL busy. It is making the effort to spend the time you do have with the girl count. Woman just want to feel wanted in my opinion. You need to find what it is she needs during the time you spend with her. Does she need to talk? Does she need to be held? Does she need you to be a man and take her upstairs? It depends on the woman and her mood and you only learn is by spending time with her.
While I did not give into Mr. Four Seasons and his request for me to drive over to see him tonight, I did learn that he was not and will not make any effort to keep me around even after I've told him exactly what it is I needed without him having to do any of the leg work. He is a sweet guy and will be a great husband and father someday to someone perhaps a little less needy than myself (although I don't think I am too demanding or needy, he seems to think I am).
He has frustrated me more than anyone I've ever met, and I'm sure I've frustrated him on more then one occasion. We don't see eye to eye on anything yet we both have this attraction to one another. I believe my attraction is more of a forecast of what I think he can and will be like in the future, as opposed to what and who he actually is. This is the wrong way to see anyone though and I need to just see what is here in front of me and not what I think or want to see! This was the same reason I was in a 7 years on/off relationship with me ex. I wanted so badly the future I had in my head I was willing to put up with a crappy present for something that was not guaranteed!
Ladies, try to see what is in front of you. If he isn't making the effort at the beginning, he isnt going to make it, period!
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