Mr. SuperDad
My first experience with dating a guy with a kid was...interesting, and HARD.
I had met him randomly at his place of employment (a restaurant/bar); it was his day off but he was sitting at the bar. A girlfriend and I had about 20 minutes to kill before going to our mutual friends' kids' baseball game and had never been in the local joint. We belly up to the bar, get one beer and strike up a conversation with Mr. Superdad. Turns out his kid is in a little league also but he is with the mom this weekend. He missed his kid and asked if he could tag along to the game with us. Seems like a super nice guy, so he comes with us. Easy to get along with, simple kind of guy, kid friendly...we hit it off. We end up dating through October, even went to Disneyland once and ended up doing the pumpkin patch and trick or treating together with his kid and my friends' kids. I didn't want to get the kid involved until way later, but it was important for him so I went with it. I didn't know the rules of dating a guy with a kid, it was new territory. Things were going fairly smooth except the kid was a little bit of a terror. He was 5 years old and the more time I spent with him and the kid together, the more I saw his parenting style and I was not a fan. This self proclaimed Super Dad was more of a Big Brother. I am not one to judge parenting styles but what I saw I knew I wouldn't want. The kid was rough, didn't listen well, lacked manners of a kid his age. I knew I couldn't say anything to Mr. Superdad so when he started to get super clingy and jealous, it was my way out all together. He lived with his mom, he had no real career (The place he worked at actually closed about a week after I ended it). He was one of those "nice guys" but not for me types. He wanted me to ask his permission when I wanted to hang with my friends rather than with him. I cannot be with someone that controlling.
Mr. Four Seasons
In
March of this year I actually met a guy in real life by chance; at the
Four Seasons on a girls day trip to the spa and lounge for my best
friends birthday. It was the first of March, actually and he was a
perfect gentleman. While we did carry our conversation up to my room
after the bar closed, we talked until 4am and when he finally leaned in
for a kiss, I snarkely said "FINALLY!". When we fell asleep, Mr. Four
Seasons slept above the covers and everything. The next morning he
realized his friends had totally ditched him so he decided to go with us
to a brunch we had planned already. After brunch, I still had "custody"
of Mr. Four Seasons and stopped at my parents house for a quick
greeting; he went along for the ride, very easy going and was very
polite. I eventually took him home but he wanted to take me to dinner
that same evening.
We dated for about 40 days before I called it off.
He
was VERY busy with work, playing softball and coaching a sports team.
We didn't do anything but watch movies or TV; he had warned me at the
very beginning but I didn't think it would be as bad as it was. He was
exhausted and when we found time together, it was his down time and he
just wanted to veg out. I totally get it but I need more at the
beginning of a relationship. It was as if we had been together for years
already and already in that boring lull of normal life. I don't want
that when the guy is suppose to be winning me over. I was bored and
frustrated. If I was going to be bored, I wanted to at least have the
title of girlfriend but he wasn't willing to label it until he could
show me the "real" him once the sports season was over. After 40 days I
told him that I really liked him but for him to contact me once he was
ready to really have a relationship. I don't want to waste my time and I
don't want to be the girl he wastes time with either.
Now that the
sports season is coming close to ending, Mr. Four Seasons has been
talking to me more but I don't know if we are on the same page still. He
is almost 5 years younger then me and while he is a really sweet guy I
am still not sure it will pan out for the two of us together. His
passion for sports is stronger than it is for me.
I've been on many other dates in the past year, but these are the two that really stood out.
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