8/16/2010: Mr. Europe

Monday

Location: Santa Monica pier

Have you ever had a stranger tell you that you have been living your life completely incorrectly? Well Mr. Europe did just that.
This is a guy who took a week vacation to the Bahamas and ended up staying for 4 months. A guy who plans on working and living in any country other than the US. A guy who is planning a trip to Europe as soon as  he saves up enough money for a ticket and has no idea when he will return. Why you ask is he on a dating site and on a date with a girl who very clearly has stated she needs to be close to her family in California...well, your guess is as good as mine!
Mr. Europe and I have been talking for a few weeks online and finally had a good phone conversation (after playing phone tag 5 times).
Mr. Europe asked me to meet him at the pier around 1:30 on my day off, and I was under the impression we would get lemonade or a beer or something. When I showed up and met him by the stairs, he was in boardshorts, holding a plastic bag and two towels. I was in jeans!
Without asking me what I wanted to do he started leading me onto the sand. He was more than 6 steps ahead of me the whole time and it seemed like we walked for a mile until he finally stopped and laid out the towels RIGHT next to one of the ONLY trash cans on the entire beach. As we sat, I finally got a look at Mr. Europe. He was graying (Which I guess I have to suck up and accept at this point in my life) and his EARS were hairy...yup! Hairy ears! And chest, which was crawling out of the top of his shirt. gross! We did VERY little talking the entire time, probably because he started the conversation with "If you don't want to talk much that is TOTALLY fine with me since I came to soak up the beach!"....seemed like a very odd statement to start a date with.
Mr. Europe opened a beer (he brought 4) and poured 2 cups full and handed one to me (at least there's that), then proceeded to light up a cigarette (Which he said he didn't do on his profile)...As we sat in silence drinking our beer (Yes, I know it's illegal but if caught I would totally blame him!) and we had the trash can to block our view from the lifeguards.
With little warning that he had to relieve himself, Mr. Europe jumps up, takes his shirt off and runs to the water. He leaves me on the beach for about a half hour as he frolicked in the waves. 
When he finally gets out, I make the mile trek across the sand to an actual bathroom and then back all by myself only to find him in the water again when I return. Another half hour by myself on the towel...
The conversations we DID have was about my lack of traveling in life and how he thinks I should get a credit card, quit my job and surf couches around the globe. Evidentally he thinks my life is worthless without doing so. He can't stand real jobs and thinks people with money can't live "right", whatever THAT means...He never wants a real job and dreams of living in a mobile home with someone just as non materialistic as himself. LOL, that's so not me! I need my iphone (which he criticized) and I dream of an actual house in the suburbs! He also included that he doesn't find American woman attractive usually based on our perception of life.  I wonder again why he asked me out, although I am tempted to chalk it up to the fact he wanted to go to the beach and just didn't want to go alone.
He had to work at 6, so we parted at around 5. No connection, no romance, not even respect was given by Mr. Europe!
I stayed in Santa Monica, walking around the pier and third street then watched the sunset and dolphins on the beach by myself to avoid the traffic that had piled up on PCH. Waiting until 8 and taking PCH proved to be a good choice since Obama had come into LA today and I was listening to horror stories of traffic on the radio on my way home.

8/13/2010: Mr. Buckaroo

Friday 

Location: Yamato/Ventura County Fair

Planning a 2nd date on Friday the 13th may have seemed masochistic to some, but I figured I had nothing to lose at this point. May as well put all the cards on the table and go for it.
I allowed Mr. Buckaroo to pick me up at my apartment, which would usually never happen but I had a good feeling from our last date so threw caution to the wind on that rule.
When Mr. Buckaroo pulled into the shopping center he had planned dinner at, I cringed when I realized he wanted to take me to the Crab House, because I knew it had been closed for some time. He had no idea and seemed a little heart broken that his plans were fast fading.Plan B was sushi, which is always good in my book!
A short drive down the street to Yamato's and after a long dinner with a funny waiter, we were on our way to the fairgrounds.
Showing up a little late, we didnt have to pay for parking and walked in with no line. Mr. Buckaroo was so giddy about trying to win me a stuffed animal since he had never won one before. That was his goal for the night.
I usually dont play the fair games myself seeing it as a waste of hard earned money, but it's what he wanted to do and he was so excited.
First game: Throwing a baseball at cups, trying to knock them off their petestal, no stuffed animal.
Second game: 80 (YES, 80!) ring tosses trying to ring bottle necks, no stuffed animal.
Third game: Shooting a ball attached to a gun trying to knock off something, no stuffed animal.
Fourth game, we are given a tiny roadkill looking coyote stuffed animal we end up naming "Consolation" after the carney saw him fail at three other games and obviously failing at hers. 
I step up and try my hand at the next game: throwing a baseball at plates trying to break them, and win 4 in a row, adding a large lion to our stuffed animal collection. Needless to say, Mr. Buckaroo was even more eager to win SOMETHING since I had raised the bar!
Finally he tries his hand at throwing pig pong balls trying to get them in small colored cups on lily pads circling in a pool of water...and he did it! He jumped up and down and had this goofy laugh...it was both charming and disturbing that a man his age had never won anything at a fair and was so excited to finally do so. I picked a little pug dog for his prize and after a request for a picture with his trophy, he handed me the dog, obviously a little apprehensively. LOL
We walk around the fair coming up with names of our three new pets and enjoyed a glass of fair beer. We then went on the only ride Mr. Buckaroo would attempt: The big boat swing...He was nervously laughing at the weightless feeling his stomach gave him during the ride. It was like being on a date with an 8 year old boy. I was seeing his uber childish goofy side tonight for sure!
His very attractive cheshire cat smile had a very nerdy turn when he was really happy. HAHAHA....
We shared a funnel cake until the park closed, finding a very quiet almost romantic park bench behind some vendor booths and talked about possible future dates.
A drive home and a walk to my door ended our evening.
I am sure there will be a third date soon since Mr. Buckaroo couldnt wait until he got home to text me. He  pulled over half way to Agoura somewhere to let me know he had a great time and can't wait to see me again.

8/07/2010: Mr. Buckaroo

Saturday

Location: Ciscos/Oxnard Shores

While I did have a good date with MR. Martini a few nights back, I am not holding my breath or waiting by any phone for him, so I decided to meet Mr. Buckaroo for cocktails after only very briefly texting back and forth a couple times. There was something about him I felt I could trust (since usually I don't meet guys after just like 2 emails!) Plus he was cute, my type, tall and had a smile in his pics that could make Sue Sylvester blush and giggle!

I arrive at Ciscos around 7:30 and MR. Buckaroo was already there. He had seen some friends when he arrived and was talking with them until I arrived. He came out to meet me (He was actually as cute as his pics...and as tall as he said he was...super major points!)...and led me outside to meet his friends. We then grabbed our own table and started chatting. Right away we had a lot in common and I wish it was less geeky stuff, to be honest, but nevertheless we seemed to hit it off well. The conversation was mostly about past jobs, a lot of techy non-scene and surprisingly how much debt (er, rather: Lack of debt) we both have...Not a normal first date convo but hell, get that outa the way early, right? HAHA
Other things we discussed which you wouldn't think would be light enough for first date talk is: Nature vs Nurture, past relationships and how they ended, artificial intelligence (which turns out is his business), and racism vs factual information. We both were super comfortable with one another and there was no forced convos or awkward silence.
Good news is, he has a job and a house! More of a promise than others' I've met this past year!...
Once the dinner crowd dissipated we grabbed another table which had a lounge type couch and Mr. Buckaroo sat next to me rather then across from me at the table. (smooth and not at all obvious. HA!) 
He was a perfect gentleman though. No yawn and stretch moves here! He would lightly tap my knee or shoulder however to make that initial contact every once in awhile when I told a funny. ;)
Mr. Buckaroo had planned to go to a friends house warming luau in Oxnard/Ventura area later in the night and as the conversation progressed, it led to an invite. 
One of my rules is: Never get in a vehicle with a man on a first date, and NEVER go back to a house with him.
Well, I broke 2 of my rules last night.
I was still smart about it though and asked for his drivers license then texted my mom all his information for security...(or for proof in case I wound up dead in a gutter somewhere.) Mr. Buckaroo actually makes his sister do that when she is on dates, so he didnt mind or think it was weird. (Brownie points for being close to his family!...AND being local!)
So, I suck it up and go with him, prepared to meet a huge group of his friends...a little much for a first date, but to hell with "rules" at this point! I'm just going with the flow and the flow was easy with Mr. Buckaroo.
We start driving and continue to talk the entire way down. We both have nieces that are our worlds!...He admitted to painting his nieces toenails (although not well), which melts my heart! This was even before I told him about my niece!...More brownie points staking up!
He stops at a grocery store to get drinks cause he believes you should never show up to any party without something in hand (Which is on my LIST of how I would want the man of my dreams to think) 
Without asking what my preference was, he grabbed peach margaritta bottles and a 6 pack of wicked ale. I dont know how he knew, but I LOVE anything Peach flavored. I thought it was a super random 6 pack to choose, but he chose well! 
When we arrive to his friends new house it's literally 20 yards from a private beach and all his friends are smiling and very warm and open, a REALLY great group of people! Everyone seems to love Mr. Buckaroo and I think I blended in pretty good. Around 11:30 we call it a night and Mr. Buckaroo drives me back to Ciscos to pick up my car. There was no kiss or anything, but I had a really great time and I could see myself going on more dates with this guy.
Whether he actually felt the same way or not, or just put on a good show will be proven with time.
But ya, I am finally on a GOOD roll! :D
YAY


UPDATE:
Sunday 08/08/2010
Mr. Buckaroo texted me in the afternoon with some witty remark about being sore after a bootcamp training he did in the morning to help out a friend and being slightly hung over but that it was well worth it. I was busy working at a bridal fair all day (LAST PLACE I WANTED TO BE SINCE I AM SINGLE), so it took me a little bit to get back to him. He said he'd call later on and I went about my day.
The remainder of my day was filled with text messages from my mom who had googled said date from the night before. I had texted her his name, license info and where he was from and with that you wouldn't believe the info she pulled up on this guy! (All good, thankfully)...and the fact that he was truthful about everything made my mom very happy. 
What she found out from googling him (Yes, you can use that as an adjective) is that he purchased a condo in 04, refied it in 09...has 2 patents pending for technology, built and own and runs a very lucrative, cutting edge company, graduated from Berkley and his father is an LAPD Sargent. I felt a little bad for investigating him like that, but first, it wasn't me doing it and 2nd, it's all public info and he gave me his full name so it's fair game! Plus, he actually told me about the condo and his dad on our first date.
This is when it gets good!
He ACTUALLY called later on that night!
Weird, right?
I mean, a guy actually doing what he said he would? HAHHA
I felt totally comfortable on the phone with him, which is a HUGE deal for me (being an anti-phone talker...ask ANYONE i know!)...and so told him what my mom's day consisted of and let him know what I now knew and he was impressed rather than upset. He said I was a very unique girl (Which in most cases would be an insult of sorts) but in this case he thought that was VERY intriguing. The conversation went well. He confessed that the business stuff usually doesnt come out till the 5th date or so due to gold diggers who wanted just the money, but he felt a connection to me on our first date and knew I wasn't like that. He had planned to tell me on our next date.
Speaking of our next date; he officially asked me out for a 2nd during the phone convo for this coming Friday. Very old fashioned and I liked that.
He also asked if it was alright if he could text me once or twice a day until to just say hi and see how I am doing. I've never had anyone ask permission, but I thought it was a very classy move on his part.
He is to fly out of town tomorrow afternoon for a couple days for work and I am already looking forward to the texts. Sounds silly!
This is by far the first 2nd date I am looking forward to in the past year. I am trying not to have any expectations and just go with whatever comes my way, but so far so good.

8/03/2010: Mr. Martini (5 Wins)

Tuesday

Location: Padri's Martini Bar

After work I made plans to meet up with Mr. Martini with whom I only had a couple back and forth replies with on a dating site. He seemed like a normal American guy and I could only hope he was who he appeared to be online.
I took a relaxing shower after work, a quick nap and met Mr. Martini at Padri's around 9pm. Due to my cheapness I park on the street next to the lounge to avoid Valet (This also gives me the opportunity of bailing quickly rather then standing around waiting at the end of the night for my car in case the date was lame). When I arrived, Mr. Martini texted me to let me know he was outside so I walk up, see him and we shake hands cordially. I can't really see him yet since it was dark outside, but he was tall. Win so far.
We walk in and the place is empty. I can see that Mr. Martini was wearing a nice suit jacket which showed he cared enough about the date to look decent. This is a nice change to the torn jeans and affliction shirts! The bartender greets us and shows us to the patio and then takes our order. 2 Martinis and bomb ass brushetta. 2nd (and 3rd? Win).
We get to talking in a romantic setting, all alone (almost: There was a couple making out at the other end of the patio sofa, but they were too enthralled in their game of tonsel hockey to even know anyone else was within 5 miles!)
The conversation was easy and comfortable. I found myself telling Mr. Martini more about my life than I normally do on a first date and he seemed geniunly interested. He actually retained info and asked questions. This may seem like the normal flow of a conversation, but most guys I've gone out with seem to just hear (not listen) and wait for their turn to talk about themselves. While Mr. Martini also shared about his life it was nice to finally have an adult conversation with someone actually into it. 4th Win.
While I was talking about how passionate I am about painting for little kids and seeing their faces while they talk to the characters I paint on their walls, Mr. Martini said "You are so cute" and leans in for a kiss.

I am use to pulling away from the first kiss attempt and I don't know if it was the martinis or the romantic atmosphere or the fact I havent been kissed in a long while by someone that doesnt annoy/upset/disappoint me, but I let him do it and it didn't suck. Win 5.

Padri's called last call around 10:30. We closed the place down so much so that the valet actually brought Mr. Martini's car keys to him and the only person left when we actually walked out was the cleaning guy. Everyone including the bartender was gone. All the lights were turned off and Mr. Martini walked me to my car on the street next to the lounge. We shared another kiss and I was on my way.

Mr. Martini texted me the following day to tell me he had a great time and wanted to see me again. Finally a gentleman! Well, we'll see....

8/2/2010: Mr. BronxBull

Bring on the men!

Well, okay, so I kind of had an epiphany last night in my dream and I won't go into details but it's totally time to move on and get serious about actually finding someone, (without looking too hard cause you all know thats when you wont find anyone!)
So, needless to say, I am ready to get off this dry spell and find suitable suitors to woo me! (yes, I said woo. Nothing wrong with wanting to be wooed)
I want someone who wants to be with me and willing to put out some effort!
(Im not looking for poems or stereos above the head...)
I'm done with the little boys, the selfish A-holes and the clueless jerks.
I have a date tonight and although he doesnt meet my usual height requirement, the 20 minute online conversation we had was intriguing enough to get me out.
Plus the pic of him with a huge grin, surrounded by kids in a third world country didn't hurt! LOL. I am a sucker for that stuff!
So hopefully he didnt just pull pics off google cause that would be a bummer! hahaha
Anyway, get ready for some updates in the coming weeks my friends...I have a few interested in a date and I plan on giving them all equal opportunity. All my rules stand but my heart is finally ready to open up and let go of the past enough to let the future begin!
Excited to finally leave the past where it belongs!  

MONDAY

Location: Lazy Dog (cause it's so bomb and I live in Thousand Oaks where there is nothing else!)

My first date with a authentic Italian/White New York guy. I wasn't expecting that at all! Nice guy though. It wasn't the same ol' first date conversations, which is nice but also kind of weird. 
I arrived and he showed up right behind me. I had seen some people I know, which made the start of our date a little awkward, but the area I live in, you always run into people you know! Just so happens a group of woman I now work with were all there and all having some drinks and then asking me about work, then making the gestures behind my dates back as to ask me "ARE YOU ON A DATE WITH THAT GUY?!" hahha. It was weird.
We ended up having to wait for like 45 minutes out front next to the patio and right behind us my co-workers were seated, so I am sure they could hear everything we were saying.This made me a little more guarded with my date at first. The conversation was pretty much about homeless people. LOL!
What kind of homeless people were around him vs. those in Thousand Oaks...weird for a first conversation but entertaining enough for me to wait around for 45 minutes! ha! Finally we were seated on the other side of the patio and ordered a glass of wine. He explained his trip to the Dominican Republic which was originally for 1 week and lasted 4 months...He told me all about New York, the Bronx, etc. and why he moved to LA. Where he works in a bar and his boss and his bosses son which he babysits once a week...This guy could talk...and when I say talk, I mean with one of those strong New York style accents which makes it fun just to listen to him, like in a movie!
He drove up on an old motorcycle like one James Dean would have ridden. Not a bad looking guy but no model either. 
After 2 glasses of wine and some water we called it a night at 10:30. I think 3.5 hours of him talking is enough for a first date. 
It was pleasant. Nothing extraordinary but not bad. He picked up the tab and held the door open and was a perfect gentleman as we said goodbye. He kissed my cheek and asked if he could call me again.
Not the type of guy I could see myself WITH but a good guy.
Anyone who doesnt care for family wont fit well into my life. He is a loner. Moved out to LA from NY and hasnt seen his family in over 2 years. Although his mom did call while we were there, which he said never happens.
He goes on vacation to islands during the holidays to get away, which also would not work in my life!
But...it was interesting.
 

7/26/2010: Mr. Typonics

I am not sure what to make out of this email I got on one of those datings sites..anyone know how to de-code?

"well,yerr ii's are beautiful,id say bomb like nuclear
i think the news is clear,yer adorability brings all cuteness near."

LOL! What some guys won't do to stand out, eh?

7/23/2010: Mr. Matador

Friday

Location: My House

No, not "my house" as in my personal dwelling; there is a club called MY HOUSE which I was dragged out to tonight by a friend. Those that know me WELL know I am not a club person. I cant stand the crowds, the lines, the loud music and especially the men that partake in the game that is Hollyweird! BUT, I humored my ol' friend and accompanied him as his wing-girl since he values my opinions and assistance oh so much.
It just so happens that as I am sipping on my water while my friend was on the crowded dance floor, I notice a tall dark lurker nearby checking out the "talent" (as the guys say)...he appeared to be stalking a group of three woman with his eyes and I lean against the wall to watch him in "Action" knowing he is either up to no good, is totally wasted or is on the clock, so out of pure entertainment, I watch and wait. He whispers to his "friend" and takes a step back letting this friend reel in one of the three. It seems obvious to me what is going on at this point: I read the book THE GAME about 5 years ago and could spot the setup a mile away. (It was one of the VERY few books I've actually read since high school, and I enjoyed learning the tricks of men and what to watch out for!)...He was with a paying client who was counting on his expertise in the art of seduction to train him on how to pick up woman successfully.
I try not to stare too long but I strain to try and hear the conversation. It is utterly ridicules the lines that are coming out but the girls eat it up because of the delivery that was obviously so well instilled in him.

I then realize Mr. Matador glance in my direction and before you know it he has slinked his way against the same wall I am leaning up on. He opens with:

"Wouldn't it be weird if a guy you never gave your number to call you?"

He goes on to explain himself somewhat, opening up the lines of communication to get my interest. I've been hit on enough times and have heard all the lines in the book. It's going to take more then smooth talking and obvious cliches, but this guy is good at what he does. I call him out on everything he is throwing at me and ask his friend how much he paid for this "Session". His friend is trying hard not to give it away but Mr. Matador finally tells me after about 15 minutes that he IS the professional pick up artist "Matador", and was in the book THE GAME and on VH1 for 2 seasons of "The Pickup Artist", to which I replied with "How many girls does THAT work on? Cause I don't care."

I am not sure if it was part of his routine but he mentioned he was impressed by my confidence and savvy-ness on the art of picking up. I guess all my "Experience" in dealing with douch-baggyness paid off tonight. That is a compliment coming from a world renowned pick up artist...I can finally know for sure I am not one of "Those girls" who is naive to fall for complete and utter BS! yay? I am still not sure whether to feel flattered or offended for being one of this guys' "target practice" for the night...and not entirely sure I really passed the test because I ended up talking with him for an extended amount of time after he knew I knew who he was and what he and his "friend" were doing. 

Granted, it was mostly about my experience with guys over the last year and how much I have put up with: If you have read ANY of my blog you know what I mean....and Mr. Matador seemed to be off his game and possibly REAL (whatever that means at a club); meaning he wasn't doing any of his trademark moves on me any longer and we had actual conversations while I was waiting for my friend to be done with his clubbing and he was observing his student in action.

Whatever the night was it was interesting meeting this guy I have read so much about. Possibly if he needs a woman's point of view in the arsenal that is

venusianarts, he will find a way to contact me. ;)
Since he is a public figure somewhat, I think it is only FAIR GAME to post his pic and info on my blog!
Woman, study this face and be aware if he approaches you in a club....he is a professional and may sick his student on you for practice! One of the sure key signs is the ever popular CUT DOWN method he teaches:
A less than attractive socailly awkward man approaches with more self confidence than he should have and pulls out a super cheesy line. When you try to call him out on it he comes back with something to the effect of "Your not my type" This in turn makes you somewhat offended but yet oddly attracted enough to attempt and make yourself his "Type" out of the shear fact your a girl and need to feel wanted...If you look closely around, you will see another gentleman hiding in a dark corner of the room watching; this is the professional pick up artist!
Guys, if you want to try out the move above, I must admit, it DOES in fact work on the club rats! If you get a woman smart enough to call you out though, she may actually be worth spending some time with!


I have reafirmed a couple things tonight:
1. I don't care for clubs
2. I don't put up with ANY BS from ANYONE and have no problem calling it out as I see it
3. I don't care for clubs! 
4. I should start my own multi-million dollar business to show woman one on one what to look out for at a club!...hmmm

7/22/2010: Mr. 60/40

Thursday

Location: Ladyface Alehouse

After taking it easy the last month from the dating scene, and ready to have a night out; I met up with a guy who I met from...you guessed it:  online dating site.
He was tall, all American and  ...father of TWO (11 and 14 tears old!)...
He was 5 years older than his online profile said and at 40 with two kids who he has half time, is a bit too much for me. The date went okay but I found myself taking the conversational lead for the duration, which was exhausting after a full day of work! Only highlight was talking about karaoke. He loves it as much as I and most of the date we were just listing songs that other people butcher.

We tried 2 beers each and had bruschetta and split fish n chips. 

When the bill came, we split 60/40, ME! Dissapointing!

No 2nd date in the works, although he invited me to karaoke. It takes a lot for me to turn down karaoke....but I don't want to lead anyone on and I just don't feel anything would ever happen with him.

A nice easing back into the game though. Nothing HORRIBLE happened, except the lies and check split: It's bad that lying isn't considered BAD anymore in the dating world that is my life!

7/04/2010: Mr. Obnoxious

Sunday

Location: The Oaks Mall

NOW I remember why I took a break from dating...it is horrible!

Having no plans for the 4th since I didn't know if I would have it off or not until the last possible minute, I agreed to a movie at the local mall with a guy I had been blowing off all of June due to my dating downtime and just general business of the new job etc. With it being a holiday and traffic sucking on his journey from Van Nuys we missed the matinee and went next door for a beer and appetizer before catching the later show of "Knight and Day" at around 4:30. 

It worked out okay though: Shared a grilled cheese sandwich and fries and had a beer while talking about work, family, etc. This guy I thought was such a nice guy; teaches kids gymnastics and does stunt work on the side... smokes "a bowl" every morning and pot and pot related things is about all he could talk about! That and his obscene need for a cigarette! 

You would think someone that addicted would have a pack, right? NOPE! He asked our bartender for a smoke. Oh, let me precede that with saying on his profile it said non smoker!...He continued asking anyone he saw, including a little girl no older than 6 with her parents; because he thought he was being funny!

He was loud and obnoxious at the bar...he was loud and obnoxious in the movie. He is like a 12 year old boy who thinks being boisterous and saying whatever is on his mind is hilarious. He was throwing popcorn around, slurping his soda on purpose...I wanted to move seats but it was a packed house and I was stuck for the duration of the movie.

The movie ended up being only PG! Cameron Diaz and Cruise in a PG flick? Weird! But...fitting since I was on a date with a little boy!

After the movie he was looking for me to ask him to stay longer and watch the fireworks or something- he kept hinting at it...well, no...he was hinting at us "making our own fireworks", which CLEARLY would never happen! I instead insisted he leave at once as to not hit the holiday traffic and to be safe from the drunk drivers. He took the hint finally and we parted.

"Hit me up if your ever in LA!" he shouted from his car, across the parking lot....Guess I will be avoiding LA for awhile, just to be safe!

June 2010

So, if you havent already noticed, I am taking the month of June OFF from dating.
With getting a new job I am already really loving, turning 28, getting a new computer and being without internet for a couple weeks and just being fed up with men, I felt it necessary to take a little bit of time off from the dating scene. I will be back in two weeks, hopefully with some more interesting stories! Peace for now followers n fans ;)

6/10/2010: Mr. Relentless

Thursday

Location: Phone

Ok girls, you know when you like a guy and call him a hundred times, thinking your being cute? Well, STOP IT! Even if you are in a relationship, ONE CALL, (maybe TWO at the most) will be sufficient to let him know you are trying to get a hold of him!
I had my first mulit-caller/multi-texter situation today and it was the most annoying thing I have ever been through. I know how you guys feel now, even though I've never been one to call over and over and over and over....

I met Mr. Relentless through the Bartending class I went to back in March. We really didn't have much dialog but he owned his own business and knew a lot of people and we exchanged business cards since he said he may know people who wanted murals painted, (and that's what my side business is). I hadn't heard from him in a couple months so when he contacted me, I was excited since I believed it to be work related...it was not.

He lives like 2.5 hours from me but was going to be about an hour out today, and wanted to get together for lunch. I contemplated the idea only because I know he has a lot of connections and the possibility of it still being work related was not entirely out of the question..until he started calling....and calling...and calling...and calling...and calling. In total I received 28 calls and 18 voicemails from Mr. Relentless!!! Not to mention countless texts!

It started with a call and voicemail. I am not a big phone person (I much prefer texts), but Mr. Relentless left a nice voicemail saying he'd love to get together. The problem with calling back is that Mr. Relentless LOVES to talk on the phone and I once got caught, unable to get off for about an hour. (Perhaps a sign of things to come; or not to come, rather...?)

I did not want a repeat of that since today was my relax and sleep in day! So, I texted him that I MAY be up for meeting later if he was willing to drive, because I was not. He wrote back yes and asked for my addy.  Now, you know by now, no man is getting the address to my place! Trying to think of a place to meet up for lunch, Mr. Relentless started calling over and over. By the 2nd attempt, I was already over it and him! He didn't even give me ten minutes to get back to him. He doesn't know what I was up to. I could have been on an important call or at work or something. He didn't know I was just laying in bed!...It really bothered me and then he kept at it! 28 times to be exact! He filled up my voicemail box!

I replied by turning OFF my phone!

Those that know me even a little know how I cannot live without my phone and what a big deal it has to be for me to turn it off!...Mr. Relentless got me to that point! There is no coming back from something like this either...so girls, next time you think you are being cute by calling a guy over and over...put yourself in their shoes (or mine)!

Lesson learned.

6/03/2010: Mr. Playtime

Thursday

What is with the single guys in this area and their lack of wanting anything meaningful? Just when you think you have a connection with someone they spring the whole play time thing at you! Ugh. So frustrating!
So I met this guy at work last week and we exchanged some witty banter and glances. He gave me his business card and told me to hit him up sometime...so I did just that. We spent half the day texting back and fourth (yes, that is exceptable in this day and age!)...and when it came to the topic of what he is looking for, he states he just wants to have some fun and play....which means SEX.
Just when I thought he was a good guy and a potential date too...
I am not looking to "play". I am no longer 21 or 25 for that matter. You "play" in college and just after. Not when you are nearly 30 or in his case over 30. This world and the selfish attitude of my generation sucks! Those who are still single are so set in their ways and don't want to change their life in any shape or fashion!
I wish I was back in the 50s where it appears that it was much easier. Granted, the womans place was in the kitchen, but I am okay with that! LOL
Mr. Playtime is a "Technical lifestyle specialist", whatever that means and lives at home; but he wanted to be sure I knew it was a very large home on the top of the hills in Calabasas and the family had people who worked for them...like I care if you have servants? How about you grow up and take a girl on a date rather than inviting her to your mommy and daddys home for a play date?! Jerk.

PROFILE PICTURES

Dear fellow online daters (guys),

The point of a profile picture is to represent yourself so the girls looking can see you! Not your car, your dog, your favorite picture of a sunset, a funny clipart you found, a picture of you so far away we can't see anything, an album cover of your favorite band, an image from your favorite cartoon, a picture of YOUR (gross ass) FEET, a GROUP of your friends where we don't know which one you are, an image of you slutting it up with other woman, your favorite flower (which by the way is kinda gay), or anything else!

These are some ACTUAL profile pics I have found on dating sites, and I honestly can't believe what some people put up.

If you want to show your artsy side, get creative with what you write about yourself! Don't self impose yourself in a photo like the guy on the bottom right corner....that is just creepy. What else is weird is photoshopping an image of you and an ex girlfriend to make her into Megan Fox:

You obviously know how to use a computer (somewhat at least) so CROP the photo to take the girl OUT completely! (I distorted him on purpose)
As a girl looking for a guy I am SO turned off when you have other girls in the picture. We don't know you- we don't know or even care if they are "just friends". It isnt a jealousy thing, it's a courtesy thing! You may have a thing for big breasted woman- that's fine, but don't make your profile pic this:

A

Another piece of advice, take a second to rotate your picture before you upload it, please! I will skip over any not right side up because I don't want to be with someone that stupid!
Don't use an image where you are wearing sunglasses as your main pic. Don't look like a convict either! I don't want to see just your chest or just a tattoo you have. Take a couple minutes to take an actual GOOD picture of yourself! If you don't  have a self timer on your camera, ask a friend to take one of you if you honestly don't have ANY decent pictures of yourself!

D

Don't use a picture that is so blurry you can't tell what it is...and I hate that I even have to say this, but DON'T use a picture of you being arrested or pretending to be arrested!

U

Please use RECENT (within the last 6 months) headshot picture where we can clearly see your face. Preferably with a smile.If you want to upload additional pictures that show your interests, hobbies, personality, etc. That is fine but your main profile pic should be just you up close. 
 

K. Thanks

Signed, frustrated online browser

Other images that made me laugh: 

5/29/2010: Mr. Setup

Saturday

Location: somewhere in Long Beach

I had to work an event tonight until 9pm but half way through I get a text from my mother. 

"Wanna go on a date for your birthday?...He's 29 has a good job. Looking for a down to earth girl that enjoys doing stuff outdoors and likes kids...He saw your photos and videos with the kids...he has a fun sense of life too"
Fun sense of life? Is that code for not very attractive? I ask her to send me a picture....
She sends me a blurry photo of him and to tell you the truth...it's not very promising.
"He lives in Long Beach but he is willing to travel. Don't discount "extra meat"."
LOL!
He looked to be about 5'11 and 300lbs at least but mom said he was funny and nice and a lot of fun.
Nothing scarier then mom setting you up! You can't really say no or be as shallow as normal when mom recommends....
There is no way however that I am going on a first date ON my birthday. Dude is going to have to get in line.  hahaha
Facebook friends first? I think so.

5/28/2010: Mr. Man

Friday

Location: Bada Sushi

Not putting much effort into dating this past week or so, I planned a girls night this past Friday with one of my oldest friends visiting from out of town. We enjoyed a couple glasses of wine and then walked over to my local sushi joint for dinner. Dinner was lovely however throughout our meal we noticed a couple of guys glancing in our direction sitting at the bar. Not thinking too much of it we ignored them and went about our evening. 
As we were walking out the door, the two guys followed us and stopped us right outside and asked for my number. Well, the ugly one asked. The shy cuter one stood in the shadows.
When I was asking them where they were from and how old they were, the one who asked for my number ran back inside to get his phone thinking I was going to give him my number. I continued talking to the shy one and gave HIM my number. 
(The only reason I even talked to them was because my friend was taking a call herself and walked away. Otherwise I would have brushed them off to spend time with my friend only!)
Turns out the guy is 21 years old! He thought I was 23...which was VERY nice to hear since my 28th birthday is only 4 days away! He didn't believe me, so I showed him my ID. This is when he kicked his game into high gear!
He was trying to convince me how much of a MAN he was.

"I've dated older women before"

"I think older woman are sexy"

"I'm a man, ya know. Not a childish boy"

"I have a real job and goals n stuff"

"I already have my own place! Well, with a roomate"

"I like Seinfeld...most people my age don't!"

...

Clearly he was trying, but c'mon! 21! geesh.
However, I was feeling low due to my upcoming dooms day (aka birthday), so I took his number down just in case...
My friend and I went back to my place and she soon departed onto another venue to meet up with other friends. Being only 9pm on a Friday with no other plans, I texted Mr. Man to see if they were still at Bada. Turns out his friends ditched him and he too lives within walking distance. We decided to meet in the parking lot. LOL
What's the harm in learning a little more about someone 7 years younger who finds me attractive? We all need attention!
Now, obviously 21 is FAR too young for me, but he seemed like a sweet kid...sorry, I mean MAN? He has a good job, doesn't live with parents, tries really hard...I hate to say it but he may have more potential then anyone else I've dated in the past year....which is so sad!

5/27/2010: Mr. Oh Yeah!

Thursday

Location: TGIFridays

I am sure you remember the Kool-Aid character from the early 90's, right? Well, I felt I was on a date with him last night!...After everything this guy said he followed it up with "Oh yeah!". But in like a weird Jim Carey mouth movement sort of way. He did the same odd facial contorcions when he drank his beer as well...Very off putting.
I sipped on water as he downed 3 pints and a gin/tonic and listened to his stories of past relationships. One of which stuck out to me due to the level of it's inappropriatness...(like any stories of ex's are, but this one especially so!)
I guess he had just broken up from a girl he had been with for 7 years and admitley just wanted to get layed one night and picked up a cougar who was 38 at the time. (This being a year ago from what he said)
He successfully brought her back to his layer and attempted to ... well, ya know. This cougar went out to her car, brought back her vibrator and ipod and pleasured herself while listening to her ipod the entire time. Mr. Oh Yeah was trying his best but Cougar wasn't having it, asked him to get off and she continued another 45 minutes on her own. LOL!
It gets better!
A one night stand with said Cougar wasn't enough. He wanted to prove to her he could do the deed and invited her over again after a week or so. This time he told me was better but Cougar asked him to be rough. He slapped her ass and it wasn't nearly enough for her. She wanted him to PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. Seriously.
I guess Mr. Oh yeah DOES have a line and refused. Cougar was not called again.

Guys.....this is not appropriate conversation for a first meeting (or second, or third....). Regardless of how layed back the evening is, regardless of setting. Never talk about past relationships and NEVER NEVER discuss sex with other woman! Granted, it was an interesting story and it was alright in this case because I have NO ROMANTIC feelings toward this guy, and I am able to share the story with y'all....but still!

5/25/2010: Mr. Pitcher(s)

Tuesday

Location: El Torito

So, being exhausted from starting a new work out regime and working two 11 hour days in a row, I just wanted $1 tacos and A margaretta on a Tuesday night. It started out fine since the bar was pretty empty and I was able to quickly order. I noticed a pitcher of beer next to me and only one glass, but I shrugged it off when I didnt see anyone. Just as I started to relax a gentleman who was sitting a few stools over returned from the restroom and sat in front of the pitcher. Evidentally this was his 2nd pitcher of beer to himself! Quietly watching the game he didnt start bothering those around him until after his THIRD, yes THIRD pitcher of beer and the game was over.
Starting with what can only be described as jibberish, I tried to enjoy my dinner by facing the other direction and making it clear to him I was not interested. Mr. Pitcher didn't get the hint because he kept talking. About what I couldn't tell you. At one point he asked me to go on vacation with him in 19 days. When I refused he answered by buying me another margi. I refused but he wouldnt take no for an answer. After his fourth pitcher he was more belligerent than anyone I've ever seen in a bar. He made my quiet little night out miserable and for that I did accept his offer to buy my tacos and soup and 2 more margarettas. When his cousin came to pick his ass up, I was ecstatic. Trying to make the most out of what turned out to be a horrible evening, I made (or thought I made a business connection by giving my business card to him for mural work at the school he does counseling at. 
This turned out to be a mistake when I received not one but THREE phone calls from the drunk the day after. The first, an apology. The 2nd, a recording of a song with the words "I NEED YOU" and nothing more. The third, just more jibberish and a song I didn't recognize along with someone coughing...very annoying!
I am hoping my non response will make him realize I really am not interested!...I may need to take drastic measures and tell him off if this continues.

5/23/2010: Best Date Ever!

Sunday

Location: Saddlerock Winery, Malibu

Late Friday afternoon my boss handed me four VIP tickets to a wine event in Malibu which coincided with the Tour of California bike race. While I am not the least bit interested in bicycles, I am however fond of wine and especially Saddlerock wine, so needless to say I was amped up to go. The challenge: To find someone to go with....

When even my own dad turned me down (shameful, right?), I was forced to take drastic measures to attend, and I am glad I did!
What was this drastic measure I speak of you ask?
Well, I took MYSELF.
Me, myself and I with an extra ticket.
Not having any idea what to expect, I drove up Mulhulland and pulled into the winery. The first thing I see are 2 buffalo, then 2 zebras and then 2 camels...nope! Make that 3 camels. There was a baby sleeping...so cute!
Not sure if I just rolled up to Noah's staging area, a zoo or a winery I proceed down the dirt path to park. 
As I walk up to the camel corral I meet a group of fellow wine lovers who offer to take my picture with the camel. Nice people.
I walk through the entry with my bright yellow VIP paper bracelet and have NO IDEA where to go. Following the rush of people walking up a hill to the back of the winery I find myself back on Mulhulland greeted by hundreds of screaming fans. No, not MY fans, although that would have been AWESOME! :P
The fans were for the bike riders...who knew biking was so popular?
As soon as the first group of riders passed, I slinked my way back into the winery to beat the crowds and grab a bottle. Not coming prepared, I sat on the grass without a blanket or chair and enjoyed a glass of cuvee.
Most of the people were coupled up or had families, so this was not much of a singles mixer, but the scenery was breathtaking. 
I took a walk with my wine to the lake on the premises and then over to the mini horses. While it wasn't a very eventful day, it was lovely. Just me and my wine, the zoo animals and the gorgeous vineyard.
No drama, no weird fetishes, no lies, no awkward pauses...this was the perfect date! hahaha
;)
btw: YES! That camel IS smiling!
 

5/19/2010: Mr. Scotch

Wednesday

Location: Buenos Aires Grill, Pickwick Pub

"Bitter and Broken" Divorce Group, an ex call-girl best friend who is now married to a (current) male for male escort and an odd fondness for latex fetishes...THOSE were the topics of conversation Mr. Scotch decided to unload on me on our 4th (and VERY possible FINAL) date!
Feeling awful for having to cancel on him twice last week with a cold/cough, I agreed to a late dinner on a Wednesday night with Mr. Scotch and almost canceled again just out of having a bad gut feeling and not wanting to drive half way to meet him. I asked some friends on facebook for ideas of late night places for good food in the valley since I am not a regular in the area and came up with an Argentinian place. I arrived and Mr. Scotch had two glasses of Malbec wine already. (good start!) He continued downhill from there bragging about his travels to Buenos Aires in real life and telling me that I don't really know anything until I've traveled some....not winning any points, dude! 
I haven't traveled and wish I have but I barely have enough to pay bills at this point...that doesn't make me a horrible or uneducated person....
Except in the art of ordering food at an Argentinian restaurant. 
DAMNIT! He got me.
So, I let him order...which ended up being a skillet full of different red meats...
If I wanted to get gout, this would be the place I'd eat!
Not saying it wasn't good, cause it was alright, but nothing amazing. 
Definitely not $80 worth with the wine, but he paid, so it's gravy to me. (He already said he would ahead of time, so I'm not being a gold digger here!)
After dinner we had planned to go to a lounge called PUSH however when we walked over it appeared CLOSED. So instead we opted for a pub across the street. Not very happening for a Wednesday night, but we enjoyed a drink there. This is where the odd conversations came up!!!
He explained he answered a craigslist add for a divorce group called "Bitter and Broken" about 5 years ago which is where he met his best girl friend (Who I had met on our first date) and continued to explain how her and her fiance (Whom I also met on our first date) met. Not entirely sure why he felt the need to tell me their story, but he did and everything seemed to make since now because the fiance guy who turns out is a male for male escort asked me if I wanted to work for him. At the time I had NO IDEA what he did and told him yes, I am desperate for work! HAHAH
wow.
Post escort convo he spilled the beans about his fetish ex girlfriend who got him into latex and bondage. (Both liking and wearing, even at weird hollywood fetish nightclubs)... I know that by the 4th date you should know more about each other but...uh....woah. 
This all coming from a well dressed 32 year old reseeding hairline white engineer with piercing blue eyes. Not what I expected!!!
I guess everyone has their something!
So, I learned a lot about Mr. Scotch AND his friends this evening and not sure I need to know much else. 

5/16/2010: Mr. Donuts

Sunday

Location: Local Bar

After a lazy Sunday I respond to a text around 5pm to meet up for a drink. I have yet to eat dinner but I know Mr. Donuts already had a meal but I agree anyhow thinking I can go a little early to get an appetizer. This is the first internet meeting Mr. Donuts (claims) to have had and I go a little easy on him at the beginning. I show up 20 minutes prior for a beer and edamame while I wait patiently.
He is an attractive 29 year old who plays baseball on a league in his spare time from set construction, but there has to be SOMETHING about him, right? I mean, what attractive Boston transplant who lives in Santa Monica and is athletic is single...right? Well, one who has a life long goal of quitting his job and opening 3 Dunkin Donuts shops in California, perhaps? It's possible.
There is nothing wrong with opening franchises or having a goal like this, however it is the drive behind the goal that has me a little worried.
"The shape of the donuts got lazy"
That is his entire reasoning!...I guess when he was young and living in Boston, before the whole franchise thing really blew up, the Dunkin Donuts took more pride in their donut shapes....? Whatever. It was a little weird to hear. hahahahahahah. 
The rest of the conversation consisted of normal first date nonsense...siblings, sports, sexting and mormans. Random!
I paid. He didn't walk me to my car...but he was cute. LOL!
Not enough to base a possible relationship off of, but it's never really a great sign when walking to my apartment alone, I start bawling my eyes out. The reason? Well, I am a girl. Nuff said!