4/24/2010: Mr. G.A.Y.

Saturday


Location: Lazy Dog Cafe

G...gay
A...ass
Y...yeehaw

I love the gays' as much as the next potential "hag", but I dont wish to DATE them in hopes to find my Mr. Right!

So, I know when to take the blame for a bad date! I also know when to blame the date for making me the blame for the bad date...(if that made ANY sense)... at least the bartendress knew my pain and gave me a FREE orange margarita because of it (With a wink) ...
Delving back in the non millionaire pool, I met a guy I found on one of the normal sights I frequent, thinking he was nice enough to meet. 
He offered to drive from Huntington Beach even though I offered to meet half way. Good sign.
However when we met at a local restaurant (local to me), he awkwardly ATTEMPTED to open doors for me, but failed...(like it was his first day on the job of being a man)! He also had me pay for half the drinks/food....which I know, shouldn't be part of my CRITERIA, but, c'mon! FIRST DATE, FIRST IMPRESSION...he failed the purse dance!

So my date was an "artist"...
He didn't drink alcohol...ever...
He only eats meat and potatoes...
And...he MAY have really been gay...

All in all it was horrible and dull! You would think I would get along with an artsy type of guy who ate meat and potatoes...you would prolly think he would be rugged with a soft edge about him....umm...maybe not. More like soft with a tiny rugged pair of skinny jeans!
I need some adventurous spirit, someone who is willing to try sushi or EDAMAME!...I ordered Lazy Dog's amazing edamame and he was literally AFRAID to try it. Its soy beans sauteed in garlic and deliciousness...he got a burger...dry....boring!
When he talked, he used flamboyant hand gestures and a tiny lisp.
It took all I had not to laugh at him most of the time!
Our bartender lady caught most of it and must have felt bad because she actually brought over a free margarita for me...I knew I had broken Patty's rule (Millionaire Matchmaker), when I ordered my 2nd beer after the free margarita, but at that point I didn't even care! I knew I was paying for half and I was already writing my bad review of the date in my head, so I said to hell with it!
This guy didn't even stand a chance in the 2nd half, just like the Lakers tonight!....
Early morning tomorrow is cause for early night tonight, which is why I am not all that sad the date was horrific!...$20 for 3 drinks and an appetizer and a blog entry, not too shabby.

4/21/2010: Mr. Scotch

Wednesday

Location: Hollywood/Highland

The first THIRD date in a very long time, I owed Mr. Scotch after his skydiving date! We had planned to go bowling because, let's face it- how can you even attempt to compete with skydiving?! Even though bowling is one of the lamest ideas we could come up with, we chose Lucky Strike to make it a little less pathetic...however when we met at Hollywood/Highland, we discovered there was a private event and couldn't get a lane. So we went up to UWink for a drink and appetizer then headed over to Barney's Beanery when UWink closed around 10. It was a low key evening with just a couple drinks and some conversation, oh, and one volleyball trick lesson in the parking structure.
I found out Mr. Scotch played professionally for a couple years. I also found out that he is a little argumentative (in a friendly way) and quite analytical. Reminded me a little of my brother...which is never GREAT for a DATE!
At one point, he called me "KATRINA"...which was just a slip on his part, but I gave him shit for it for awhile! This was our third date and while he opened all doors for me, remembered key facts about me and what I had to say in the past dates, the name slip was a huge foul on his part!
To my luck, Barney's had karaoke on Wednesdays and while Mr. Scotch refused to even get near the stage, I allowed him the pleasure of hearing me do one of my go to songs "Like A Virgin"...hahahah!!! There was a highlight of a 45+ year old woman decked in clothes that should have an age limit of 17, who sang "Magic Carpet Ride" to a group of young men she was attempting to pounce on...
After some shuffleboard and beer we called it a night. Mr. Scotch wanted me to go back to his place (within walking distance), due to the time (it was around 2am at this point), and he explained his gentlemanly intentions of giving me the bed while he sleeps on the floor, however I respectfully declined and drove home (only because I knew my water intake far surpassed my alcohol intake).
Since I lost at shuffleboard I have to plan the next date. No one has gotten a 4th date and I am still not sure about Mr. Scotch...we haven't even kissed or anything, but he is the first to pay, open doors and show a general true interest in me (except remembering my name apparently)...so I think I will see how it goes with another date.
In no way am I exclusive with him or anything yet and I am a little apprehensive about the argumentative/analytical side I just got a glimpse of last night, but another date to find out more wont kill me.

4/17/2010: Mr. Scotch

Saturday

Location: Camarillo, CA

So, who's to say you shouldn't get physical on a second date? No...not sexually, silly!

Mr. Scotch asked me on a 2nd date and asked for it to be a surprise. He asked if a 8-9 on a scale of 10 for craziness was okay, and I gave him the green light as long as it didn't involve snakes, spiders or mushrooms. (I should have given my fears more consideration!)
Once the plans were set, Mr. Scotch texted me instructions:
1. To wear comfortable hiking clothes: Jeans, tennis shoes and a light sweater.
2. Take a deep breath, your going to need it!
3. Our appointment is at 4pm, so be ready...
Already my mind was going through the possibilities!


We met at Chili's for a quick light lunch. My first clue for the date was that a full stomach would NOT be a good idea. Other clues throughout the lunch and the ride to our destination included:

• We would be outside for a total of about 10 minutes or so
• He was nervous and had done the event once before
• I may need to sign waivers

I made a few guesses however he would not satisfy me with an answer. When we pulled up to the Camarillo Airport, I had a feeling my initial guess of SKYDIVING had been correct, although my initial guess was the wildest thing I could think of and I didn't think that in a million years it would be true...it was!
I had no time to think about it. Within 10 minutes of pulling up to the airport, I was up in a cessna, hooked up to a stranger and ready to jump out at 10,000 feet! CRAZY!
(The video is here)
(Pictures are here)

I could go on and on about how amazing the skydiving was, but I will get back to the date portion now...

Trying to ignore the fact the skydiving was over $400 for the two of us, and the fact he opted for the extra $200 for video for both of us because I really wanted it...Mr. Scotch was not done at skydiving. Once we landed, we drove to a grocery store and he gave me 15 minutes to find picnic food. He took main dish and I took sides...I grabbed some fresh bread, hummus and some strawberries. He grabbed fresh turkey, veggies and tortillas. We then drove to a Ventura beach where he uncorked some wine and we enjoyed a lovely picnic at sunset.

He made me cry once on the date, but it was because of the habenero pepper he added to the turkey wraps...(I made the mistake of telling him I would spice challenge him on our first date...he won!)

Once the sun set and it started to get chilly, we drove to my local bar for a night cap and some darts. (He won again)

Mr. Scotch opened my doors, paid, good conversation and had me home before midnight, just like a true gentleman! 

I think the skydiving adventure guarantees Mr. Scotch a third date....

4/11/2010: Mr. Scotch

Sunday

Location: The Grove (Whisper Lounge, Della Terra, Sheddy's)

Another gem from the millionaire match site, but not quite a millionaire sitting on about $150K+/year...(It REALLY doesnt matter to me), I met Mr. Scotch at the Grove at a lounge tucked away in the corner. We enjoyed some Cabernet and cheese and mini burger sliders while having typical first date conversation. The date was to consist of a pseudo charity event / raffle thing down the street from where we met after an hour or so: That is, IF I wanted to accompany him to it after we did the initial meeting.The appetizers and wine and conversation were enough to get me interested, so I agreed to go with him to the pseudo charity event. 
Mr. Scotch is 6'3 (Meets requirement there), piercing blue eyes (even more so than mine!), and is 33 with an 8 year old son (who lives in Texas)...He works as a project manager/something to do with a software for doctors', and lives with roommates. Mr. Scotch is also somewhat balding (NOT within the requirements), however he actually has a personality and we got along, so I can let that slide. It isn't a deal breaker!
The pseudo charity was about a mile away and we hoofed it since parking in LA can be way more trouble than it's worth! I think he was impressed I was willing to walk it...He seemed a bit smitten, if I do say so myself.
The pseudo charity ended up being just about 10 people at a table in a restaurant having appetizers and then a raffle for prizes. Tickets for the raffle had been purchased for $20 a piece and my date had bought 13. HE won 11 things, including gift certificates to 5 restaurants, movie tickets, cashmere scarves etc....he even had a since of humor by wearing the scarves he won and allowing my to tie one in a bow around his neck...he had joked that I would get sick of him by the time he runs out of gift certificates, insinuating there would be more dates.
The charity ended up being somewhat of an engagement party for a couple who were raising money for their honeymoon to Africa where they would help endangered animals and stuff, which I thought was a great idea! They had gotten a TON of prizes donated to them and used some re-gifting. After that we went with the couple (which Mr. Scotch were friends with) to a close wine/beer bar called Sheddy's. On the way over, Mr. Scotch dropped a bottle of limited edition rare, expensive scotch his friends had given to him, and I thought the date was over right then due to his dissapointment and near crying over it. I was surprised he wasn't licking the sidewalk!...
It was quiet and quaint. Having two more glasses of wine, and having the friend steal my phone to snoop on me and my text messages and emails (REALLY WEIRD), we called it a night and walked back to the Grove. A little rain on the walk back didn't phase us and we ended up talking for another hour or so.
He invited me to a "scotch tasting party" Monday night at his place...he loves scotch (Me, not so much!). I ended up not going cause I got a job that starts tomorrow (Tuesday).
There may be potential with Mr. Scotch, but it is way to early to tell. At least he seems to rsepect me....so that's a step in the right direction already! haha
I got locked in the parking garage cause my validated ticket wouldn't read...eventually another car came out and I booked it right after them since the parking helper people were taking over 20 minutes to get to me...Then my GPS was freaking out and gave me wrong directions so I got lost before finding the freeway on my own...I guess it didnt like the rain that was POURING!...
I was home at 1am rather then 12:00 as I would have been. A quick run through Jack in the Box to get a $1.00 chicken sandwich then off to bed...

4/09/2010: Mr. Shaddy

Friday

Location: Didn't Happen

So I had plans for almost a week to meet this guy from the millionaire site. He had been verified at 5 million+ through the site and I was intrigued to meet him as I have never even met anyone with that kind of money, let alone having dinner with them...needless to say, he already was shorter then my minimum limit (Must be at least THIS tall to ride this ride!), however I was going to give him a shot anyhow and see how it went-wearing flats, of course.
Well, the day of our date came around finally and we were discussing through texts what we would do. He decided on dinner and a movie later on if dinner went well. Super traditional, which is fine by me. 
I asked him what restaurant he was planning and he just told me he would pick something nice, and he wanted me to meet him at his house in Sherman Oaks (Hills?) and that he would drive us both to dinner. When I asked him if it would be alright if I MET HIM AT HE LOCATION rather then his house, he kinda flipped out. 
"If you think I am that shaddy, maybe we shouldn't date"
I explained to Mr. Shaddy that I was not comfortable meeting anyone I met online at their home and preferred meeting in a public place and driving myself for the first encounter. I am a single girl in LA and I am not one of those bimbos you see on the news who get raped and killed for the chance to meet a millionaire or get "famous" by taking snapshots by a photographer...sorry, it's not my style. If I am doing this online dating thing, I am doing it smart! So, after I explained that it wasn't PERSONAL per-say, it is just how I feel comfortable doing things, he pretty much said piss off.
I would think the guys should be impressed by me being smart about the online thing...but he was not!
Anyone who isn't willing to make me feel comfortable on a first date and meet me on location, I want nothing to do with them. I am not putting myself at any risk, be it just feeling uncomfortable, not having a way out or being rapped and murdered, no matter how much money the guy has!
I am finding with these "millionaires" that they are not very considerate of other's feelings. They want what they want, how they want it and nothing less. The ones I have come into contact with so far think they own the world and all the women in it. If that's the case, I would rather be with an appreciative, caring hobo. There are still a couple guys from the millionaire site that I am in talks with, and I am hoping they can change my mind on the topic. 

4/08/2010: Mr. Lake Show

Thursday

Location: BJ's Restuarant

Who's to say candle light dinners are passe? 
Okay, so it was a birthday candle in a mini pazookie at the end of our meal, but candle none the less...I had to do something to entertain myself on this date, and telling the waiter it was my birthday seemed like a good idea at the time.
You would think a major Laker fan would postpone a date until after a game or on a different night, right? Well, Mr. Lake Show did neither and planned a date DURING a game. It's odd too since my online profile specifically states I don't like sports NUTS. I dont MIND watching a game here or there, but basketball is my LEAST favorite sport and I don't care for those that yell and scream and talk to the TV during a game....especially in the middle of a restaurant!
Getting little conversation throughout our "meal": Which was consisting of me watching him scarf calamari and a big salad, since earlier we had agreed it would just be drinks later on and not dinner, I had eaten already.
There was a lot of awkward silence and blank stares and odd conversation transitions and pauses for game play. It seemed he only would talk during commercials or time outs making it very difficult to converse.
The one thing that kind of saved him was his shared admiration for the movie 3 Amigos and the fact he travels often and is looking for a partner to travel with. I may give Mr. Lake Show another shot if we plan a date without the Lakers. We'll see how bored I get...
(wow that sounded horrible. Oh well!)
I have another date planned for tomorrow evening and another for Sunday. Should be a fun weekend....
One super traditional dinner/movie date and a non traditional pseudo charity event first date...stay tuned!

4/01/2010: Mr. PV

Thursday

Location: Trump National Golf Club - Rancho Palos Verdes

Last week I watched Millionaire Matchmaker for the first time and thought it might be a good idea to just take a peek at her website for possible tips on where to meet some guys with some money...just for fun. So on her site there was a link to a free dating website called millionairematch.com...again, just for funsies I go to that website, and create a profile. I figure its the same thing as the other free sites, just with verified millionaires, so what the hell!? I received a few hits on it and the guys are a little older then my 28-35 range, but I decided to meet up with one today after a day or so talking on the phone, and texting. He send me an MMS picture of a rose he cut from his garden, but didn't bring it to me..I guess that is the new thing to do? LOL (Save money guys, take a picture of roses at the store and text it to your girl) haha
He was a self made millionaire and is retired at the age of 40 with a 3 year old daughter he has 50% custody of. Living in the Palos Verdes hills right above the Trump National Golf Course, this is where he wants to meet. ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS place! 
Mr. PV had salt/pepper hair, expensive sunglasses and jeans on but didn't seem overly pompous. He seemed genuinely attracted to me, although I think a lot of it were my boobs; I caught him glancing a few times from behind his gucci glasses. A professional poker player, avid golfer, freelance consultant, part time father and traveler Mr. PV definitely made a life for himself and it was nice to see where these types of people play, if only for just a little while.
Feeling like I was with Trump himself, it was a little weird that EVERYONE we passed who worked there said hello to Mr. PV by name and it also seemed like Mr. PV gave everyone of them a $5-$10 tip for doing nothing...I guess that is how you get the service and recognition he appeared to receive every time he came here and the reason he likes to bring dates.
As soon as we walk around the corner of the building, we see Mark Wahlberg and he says hello to Mr. PV: I guess they golf together occasionally. This is already a world I am so NOT familiar with and feel like a major outsider just along for the ride for an hour.
We take a walk in the park and look at the water and talk, which was nice then we had a burger outside rather then going inside to the dining room for a real lunch. His excuse was that he had a 2:30 business appointment and he only gave our date an hour cap.
Understanding the necessity of date time caps myself, I am not ENTIRELY offended however I did just drive 1.5 hours in traffic to meet him on his turf, he could have postponed the meeting (If there actually was one)! With not much time left we walk to the front of the building where the valet parked his car...excuse me, his porche suv right in front like a museum piece. Being the poor apartment living no job girl, I opted to park my own car and skip the valet and Mr. PV drove me to my Jetta. He insisted on my returning again soon and wanted to show me his home in the hills next time, for some possible mural artwork (likely story)...so he gave me $100 for gas money for this trip and said there would be another if I came back. I told him $100 was way too much for gas money, but he would not take no for an answer...so I pocketed the Benjamin and went on my way.

3/26/2010: Mr. Buzzygertrude

Friday

Location: Home

I could just write a blog and post the conversations some guys try to have with me...srsly!...I don't know what the screen name Buzzygertrude is suppose to mean, but I am thinking it has to do with desperation. Are these people for real?! UGH!

3/24/2010: Mr. Skype

Wednesday

Location: Home Computer


I am all for staying current on new technology and embraced the whole online dating thing after years and years of hesitation, however I always drew the line at webcams. I own a webcam and have for years, but never would I ever submit myself to the filth that comes from using them with men online. Just the question of "Do you have a webcam?" would turn me off from communicating further with a guy because in my mind it had a stigma of being used only for...well...ya know! OK! We are all adults here...I can just come out and say it...masturbation! 

I always refused to be associated with that "crowd", and won't even try the webcam roulette website because of it!
I am old fashioned now I suppose, in the since that I believe a first date should be face to face: I met a guy online who insisted our first date be over Skype! I absolutely refused at first, telling him if he wanted to meet me, it would need to be face to face. He lives off Wilshire in LA, which really isn't that far from me, but after his argument of spending a ton of money on girls he knew he didn't like in the first 3 minutes of a date, the gas money he had spent on driving all over southern California to meet these broads, made me feel sorry for single men a little bit, and I gave in.With a promise to stay clothed from him and a prayer it wasn't as awkward as I was thinking it would be from me, I turned on my Skype and called him.
It was just as awkward as I thought it would be! Paying more attention to how I looked in the tiny screen then what he was saying was definitely distracting! LOL. (I had to be sure I looked ok to him! C'mon! You would have done the same thing!)... There were long pauses and odd segways into conversations, it just wasn't natural! Once he grabbed a Hulk Fist (the kid toy that says things like "Hulk Smash!"), I knew this "date" was doomed!!! 
He went on to describe a serious allergy he has to wheat in detail, including what it does to him if ingested...this before I watch him cook a frozen gluten free pizza for himself and then eat it in front of me. Keep in mind now, I am out of work at the moment and eating like a starving artist! I was famished and looking forward to an actual date where I would get at least an appetizer and a drink! Instead, I get to watch this Mr. Skype eat: My only salvation was that it was a gluten free pizza with a brown rice crust- not very appetizing! :) (And oh ya, he went into that much detail about the pizza!!)
To me, the whole Skype date thing would be great for a couple who are long distance or for business trips etc., but should NOT be used for a FIRST DATE! Guys, sack up and take a girl out in real life! You don't have to spend a lot of money either! I say, start with something easy like Starbuck's. It gives you a $5 cap and an easy way out if necessary. If she is too far for you, don't initiate contact! It's that easy! Stay within your little local bubble if your not willing to drive, but know that in southern California you SHOULD be willing to drive 30-45 minutes regardless. It is OK to ask to meet half way, however if you already really like the girl, go the distance and meet her in her neck of the woods! I will cover the initial contact and meeting in more detail soon for a future post!
To conclude Mr. Skype: I will not be video chatting with him or meeting him in "real" life anytime soon. That whole gluten free lifestyle is too much a PITA for me! (pain in the ass)...I know it's a medical issue and I should be more understanding, blah blah blah...but if I am going to feel guilty every time I order something fried, it will be because of the normal "going straight to my thighs" guilt, and not one for feeling sorry for someone else who can't eat it. It could be a great way to learn how to eat better, but I can't give up wheat when I don't HAVE to! NO WAY! It would just be too much of a struggle going into any relationship already knowing that. 
Buh-Bye Mr. Skype!

Deal Breakers!

On the topic of deal breakers...I would love to hear some of YOUR deal breakers!

Post a comment and tell us!

Some of mine are:

• Height: A guy MUST be taller then me! 
• Lying: If I catch you in a lie, there will be hell to pay!
• Flakiness: Keep your promises, be where you say you will be...it's easy!
• Lisps: If a guy has one, I will assume he is gay. No questions asked!
• Lazy Eye: I can't, I just can't! I need symmetry...
• Vulgarity right off the bat: I am no angel, but there are lines!

3/23/2010: 30/M/Straight

Tuesday

Location: Home

If you are still single by the age of 30, I would hope you would know what pickup lines work and what don't...however, I suppose you wouldn't if you were still 30 and single...so let me give you some advice. "How long ago did you lose your virginity?" DOES NOT WORK! Perhaps if you were trying to learn the work history of a prostitute before hiring her, it would be a valid question.
Here in America, Mr. Lion2010 guys should not ask that type of question to a women they are interested in pursuing. If you still think that "this one works", good luck to you!

This too is an example of a deal breaker!

3/22/2010: 23/M/Straight

Monday

Location: Home

There is something to be said about blunt-ness, and I am all for one speaking their mind...however...when the first things said to a girl is "...I feel bad masturbating alone...mind watching my webcam", something must be said to stop all men from pursuing this non filtered approach! No girl woman who has any self dignity would want to sit at home and watch some random stranger jerk off. While I secretly had a fantasy of being on posters that every teenage boy wanted up in their room, that idea was DRASTICALLY changed once I learned what those teenage boys did while looking at those posters! Male masturbation is not attractive. I know it's a necessity, guys and I am by no means saying to never do it....I just don't wanna watch, so don't ask! It's a shame I need to even say it, but please NEVER use this guys' technique for picking up a girl...even if she is a prostitute! Have SOME tack at least! 

This is an example of a deal breaker.

3/18/2010: Mr. Mexi-can't

Thursday

Location: PF Changs

Staying guarded, I meet Mr. Mexi-can't at Starbucks and in my head am giving him 20 minutes tops when he finds me and sits down. He came from work and was wearing the most hideous outfit possible with work boots and hands that showed hard work. He claimed to be 100% white boy, but looked hispanic and insisted that his fluent spanish came from supervising the staff of his father's landscape business. A likely story! ;)
I kept my guard up the entire time we were at Starbucks sticking to the general first date questions and stopping him when he asked inappropriate/vulgar inquiries. While he was walking me to my car, we ran into a mutual friend and lucky for Mr. Mexi-can't, the friend was a super sweetheart and I knew if they were friends, he can't be all that horrible...so...I give him more time and we head over to Fridays for a beer across the street.
We sat on the patio where I let my guard down a little bit and the topics become more friendly-talking about all the same people we know, I felt like he was a long time friend. Nothing really romantic there though: Just two friends hanging on the patio, drinking some beers, shootin' the shit.
Since it was getting to be dinner time-ish and I am unemployed, I took him up on his offer for dinner. I would have been fine with buffalo wings at Fridays, but he wanted to take me to PF Changs. Twist my arm!
While at Changs we played a fun little game of "Date or Daughter". The guy at the table next to us was in his 50s, clearly and the woman girl sitting across from him could not have been any older than 20!Trying to over hear some key information to determine if she was his date or his daughter, it was sealed by her talking about her 11th grade classes that got her ready for her first year of college this past year. Obviously not a topic you would talk about with your dad! So, we had fun with that and had an awesome waiter...but again, didn't feel a romantic connection with this guy even though he was trying so unbelievably hard! At one point in the evening he told me he would buy me as many drinks as it took for me to fall in love with him...(not really a selling point- for the guys reading this!) LOL...This was the beginning of the end!...
He even asked what my ring size was so he would be prepared when he takes me to Vegas...awe, how sweet! oh, no- the word I was looking for was CREEPY! (Whether joking or not, not cool!)
His main topic of the entire evening was RUFFIES! Which in context of the date was humorous since it was more a joking around, friend type of thing...but still, unpleasant and reason to error on the side of caution at all costs! After 2 drinks at dinner, Mr. Mexi-Can't cuts me off of drinks due to the fact he was running out of money. HAHAH...you can't tell a girl you will buy her as many drinks as it takes for her to fall for you and cut her off at 2...That's just not giving love a fair shot! LMAO
Walking me to my car, he goes in for the kiss even though I have told him many times throughout the evening that I will not kiss on the first date, he somehow felt he had proven himself worthy for me to break my rules. This is where the night ends.
Possible friendship if he can tone down the creep-factor and realize it's not gunna happen!

Instant Messaging/Texting

Guys, if I happen to talk to you over instant messaging on any site or through texts, think of it as if I were talking to you face to face! Don't open with a comment on how you like women in heels cause they "double as handle bars", or ask questions like "Whats your favorite sexual position" or give a compliment such as "I bet you F$%& like a porn star" or "You have a mouth that looks like it can...." (I'm not even going to finish that one!) Okay? Those are just not first talk discussion topics! Inappropriate! Keep it simple, guys. 

Some talking points:

*Family: Ask about siblings, where you both grew up, ask about any nieces or nephews...but don't ask if her sister is hot!

*Hobbies outside of work

*Ask about friends and what you normally do with your friends.  This can gain insight into how they interact with others in social settings. Is he/she a loner or does he/she only go out to bars/clubs?

*Favorite Foods, Music, Movies, Drinks etc. (great way to learn of their culinary experiences/tastes and to see if they are an alcoholic)

*Ask about traveling: Where you both have been, where you want to go...


*Career Plans (for girls, this is a great way to see how much ambition a guy has)...I don't mean talking about your current jobs- cause who wants to talk shop? I mean like the infamous "What do you wanna be when you grow up" type of topic.

*Sports: Does he/she like them? Which ones? Prefer watching on tv or live events? Does he/she play any sports?

*Dealbreakers: What are some things that you will not stand for with dates/relationships?

*If all is going well, THEN you go in for the kill and talk about future plans the two of you can make. I'm not talking way future like wedding and kids, I mean dinner date, wine tasting, hiking, etc.

Stay away from:
*Past relationships (unless SHE brings it up)

*Politics

*Religion (in depth)

*ANYTHING SEXUAL (again, unless SHE initiates)
 
*Future plans such as wedding talk, how many kids he/she would want to have with you, etc. (It HAS happened!)...Don't ask how many dates it will take to reach "boyfriend" status!

*Try to avoid video game talk, guys. MOST women are not into them, and if they say they are, she is likely lying through her teeth to try to find some common ground with you because you are so unbelievably dull!

3/17/2010: Mr. BORING / Mr. Sober

Wednesday

Location: BJ's

Yes, I had two dates on the same night and it happened to be St. Patty's Day. So sue me! I was hungry and need to save money now that I am officially unemployed...lol
I met Mr. Boring online (of course) and were chatting through the day while I was updating my resume and submitting it to anything I found...and around 5pm Mr. Boring asked if I was hungry. Taking advantage of the offer, I said I could be ready in 20 minutes and meet at BJ's (his "all time favorite restaurant"...seriously!)
So, as I walk up, decked out in my green scarf and green bandanna bracelet, Mr. Boring pretends to not see me and acts surprised when I walk right up to him. Right away I could tell I would be doing most of the talking during our date. We go through the awkward "do we shake, do we hug" dance for a couple seconds till I just say f it and pull him in for a hug. He isn't going to get anything else tonight, so I may as well give him that much!
We are seated and right away I am bored. I try to make conversation but there really wasn't anything there. He does government work; something with satellites on Port Hueneme base and his idea of FUN is gaming, karate and frisbee. I tried to get more out of him like "hanging with friends" or "wine tasting"...anything other then video games and working out alone, but no such luck. Mr. Boring has no friends. Mr. Boring also talks very very soft, so much so half way through I stopped straining my ears to hear him and just resorted to nodding and smiling. Trying to get an actual conversation going was like pulling teeth! I am a fast-paced, fun, outgoing, energetic girl and especially on a day like St. Patty's and the day I quit my job, I wanted to have some fun! This was not the date for such things!
One good thing Mr. Boring liked: Avocado Eggrolls! They are so good at BJ's! haha...
Physically, Mr. Boring looked like Skelator (without the muscles). His profile pic was definitely not taken recently! His face was kind of sunken in and he hunched over all awkwardly...He had the height, but not the build I am attracted to.He paid, walked me to my car (both excellent qualities) but we said our goodbyes without another hug or plans for a repeat date.
Onto Date #2!


Location: Crown & Anchor

Being St. Patty's and all, the only local pub was crowded...who woulda thunk it? I show up and find awesome parking right away and get in LINE...(yes! A LINE AT CROWN!) After about 15 minutes or so waiting, I get a text from Mr. Sober saying he is down the street. Before he can get there, I am waived inside. I could have waited for him, but I didn't wanna. ;)
I belly up to the bar and order a beer. I receive another text saying he can't find parking and will be another 15 minutes or so. I wait around outside on the patio, taking in the sights of the already drunken crowd (it was only 7:45)...After 15 minutes I receive yet another text saying he is walking up...but he must have parked at my apartment because it took him yet anther 15 minutes or so- then he had to wait in line to get in. I spot him and he looks better then his profile pic ;)
Very cute! I say hi from across the patio and it isn't long before he is inside....the bar, you perv!
Crown on St. Patty's isn't the greatest place for a first date, but I felt like I already knew him- we had been exchanging messages and phone calls for several days, have a lot in common: family, humor, interests...so it wasn't that awkward- it was just difficult to talk.
Oh, did I forget to mention, he doesn't drink. At all. Never, Ever!
This clearly won't work out!
LOL
He doesn't have a problem however being at bars or buying beers, which is a plus. Oh, and he wore green, so I know he isn't a major bore! One thing I thought was very odd however is the fact he was in awe of the bagpipe players. He walked inside to use the restroom and I didn't see him for quit some time...so I walk in and there he is, just watching the pipes play. He didn't apologize for not coming back out or waiving me inside or anything. It was a little odd. Then he asks one of the "band members" if they have a cd. Who wants a cd of traditional bagpipe music? It struck me as a little off!
While he was cute and owns his own PR firm, I didn't feel a real romantic connection from him. Maybe it was the bag pipes that threw me off...
He left around 10 or so with nothing more then a hug and a waive from the parking lot. 
I stayed with a friend and hit on an extremely tall basketball player. hahah

3/11/2010: Mr. P(rude)

Thursday

Location: Sushi Restaurant

I am not your most wild, out of control, boozing sex maniac, loud mouth curser of a woman, but I am no prude either. I really didn't think about it much until this Thursday when I was out with Mr. Prude himself!
I met Mr. Prude at a local sushi place (cause I really can't get enough of the damn stuff, obviously!) and we sat at the bar where I was greeted by the staff who have grown a costumed to my face. Mr. Prude thought it was weird they knew me by name and that they brought me a beer before I even could be seated fully. ha! Little did I know, Mr. Prude doesn't drink and thinks women who drink are the devil. Well, okay, so he didn't say that but he may as well have! 
So I also ordered sake. ;)
I'm not into pretending I am anything short of what I am...and I like me some sake with my bait! I also knew it bothered him and 30 seconds into the date I knew I didn't care, so I figured what the hell!
Mr. Prude is a caretaker of a disabled college student and just moved to California several months ago for the job from Arkansas. He seemed sweet, but way too sheltered for me. I thought giving a "good guy" a shot would be fun for a change. Maybe I would be treated nicely. I was however, not aware of how "good" Mr. Prude was.
Thankfully for the purpose of my story telling, we were seated next to the most fowl mouthed, openly bi-sexual, clearly wasted at 7pm woman I have ever had the pleasure of hearing! Seriously, this dame said the word "FUCK" (NO JOKE) every 3rd word. I counted 53 "fuck's" in three minutes and gave up on counting any further! It was just who she was and she didn't care who heard her or her overly descriptive topics and discussions. This made Mr. Prude obviously uncomfortable and the date very awkward! We ended up just kind of staring at one another while we listened to this broad. I attempted to ignore her and have our own conversation and in doing so I slipped in a couple curses of my own, not really meaning to (words like "shit" and "damn"); Mr. Prude was highly offended. So much so that he asks to end the night after one roll and tell me that I am not a "lady". He compared me to the loud mouth fuck girl who openly shared with the restaurant that she would "spread her legs for a hot chick or big dick any day" ...now that was classy! So, yes...Mr Prude thought I was as bad as her with my booze and my swearing and the fact I live with two guys!
Welcome to California Mr. Prude...you're gunna have a hell of a time here! ;)

3/10/2010: Mr. Inappropriate/Mr. Shy Guy

Wednesday

Location: Text Messaging

Over instant messaging on a dating website I met Mr. Inappropriate and exchanged numbers after general inquires were answered. He didn't seem inappropriate at that time, otherwise I wouldn't have given him my number to continue or conversation over texts. (DUH!)

While I was out with friends for dinner, Mr. Inappropriate earned his name over texts. Knowing I work in technical support, his first question wasn't that out of line. "Where do you work", he asked me. Not wanting to give the name of the company for fear he would get creepy, my fear was realized with his second and third questions! "What turns you off in a guy" and "How many kids do you want?". No joke! What kind of follow up questions are those?

Once I answered with smart ass remarks he continues with "Do you want boys or girls?", and before I can even answer, I get "Well I can give you a boy. I am big and dominant"...

As I show my friends his lame questions and comments, he calls.

I ignore.

I get a notification there is a voicemail and before I can even scroll over to my voicemail page, I get another text! "Did you get my voicemail?"

SeRioUSlY dude?!

Curious as to what was so urgent, I listen to the voicemail...well, it took me awhile to get through it because I was laughing so hard at the sound of his voice. Before I even tried to get through it, I had to share with my friends...

He sounded like a large black linebacker! I had seen pics online and he appeared to be an all american white boy...but, then again...who knows!!!

Once I finally got over the voice, I listened to the message and there was nothing urgent about it. I suppose I just wasn't responding to his texts quick enough for his liking! I ignored him for the next hour or so and went about my life.

Around 10pm I receive, "hello?" and then 5 minutes later, "I hope your in a bath all naked and wet. That's how I am imagining you anyway!"...

Inappropriate and creepy!

Update on Mr. Shy Guy

Around 10:45pm I receive an email from Mr. Shy Guy after not hearing from him since last Saturday. I was trying to play it cool since he was the only guy I've actually been excited to see again, but after 5 days, I decided to be pro active and shoot him a text to say hi earlier around noon. In this day and age, most people have text on their phone and I knew he did because we had texted before and after our date. Irregardless, the email I received was almost too professionally written, using the words "divulge" and "nevertheless". The jist was that he was sorry for the delay in response and had some sort of personal "incident" occur. He asked me to only email him and not text as he gets charged for each message. Understandable, but a part of me still thinks it may be because he just doesnt want to get texts as he may have someone else checking his phone?!...
He ended with "I'll contact you when things get better for me"....That is guy code for "Don't call me, I'll call you", right? Or am I reading too much into it and should be more compassionate and understanding?
Hmm...the games we play  :/

3/9/2010: Mr. Bada Bling

Tuesday

Location: Taco Tuesday, El Torito

When you have been in jail and trim your eyebrows on purpose to cut 3 slashes in them to represent the "West Side", as well as gage your ear holes large enough to shove huge fake diamonds in them, while wearing every possible memorabilia for the Dodgers possible and flashing your goofy ass smile displaying your missing tooth....I am not going to be interested in anything you have to say....especially when I learn later in the conversation that you have a girlfriend.....

Nuff said.
And another note- when you stare at me all night long from the corner of the bar, looking cute but never coming to talk because you are "afraid" I am with 3 guy friends...you sir are not confident enough to be with me. If I give you a look like, "Hey there! I might be interested in you" while ignoring my guy friends talking...that is a green light to make a move. Even if you don't want to come over to me with my friends, at least motion for me to meet up with you on your turf!....Don't just leave without making a move! Lesson here guys, take it!
(And yes, I could have made a move on my own...I know this)

3/9/2010: Mr. Puppy Car

Tuesday

Location: 23 Freeway

Dear Mr. Puppy Car,

You drive a car with paw prints on the mirrors and kissing puppies on the hood.(It wasn't AS bad as the picture posted here, but it was close!) I am sure you work for a groomer or dog bakery, or at least I HOPE you do, however how do you expect to be blasting Celine Dion while wearing 1992 Oakley shades and expect to pick-up a girl on the freeway? You look as if you smell of Coors and cigarettes! Flashing your number on your fingers while racing past me; while memorable, is not going to get you anywhere with me. So, Mr. Puppy Car...if you are out there and are reading this somehow...

get a clue, a new job and/or car, taste in music and a shower. 

Thanks.

concerned citizen

BTW: If YOU are reading this right now, click on the FOLLOW button, already!

3/6/2010: Moving Day (Mr. Halo/Mr. Double Personality)

Saturday

Location: My apartment

So, Mr. Halo and Mr. Double Persoanlity both told me they would help me move. Not trusting men and their promises, I also asked 3 guy friends to help me, just in case. Good thing I did too, cause both Mr. Halo and Mr. Double Personality flaked on me!
Mr. double Personalities excuse was that he got too drunk the night before, however I know for a fact he was at the same apartment complex during the day, sitting on his friends patio and drinking. I know becuase I had to pass by his friends apt. balcony while moving! I believe once he saw me (didn't awknowldge), they moved the party inside. I actually saw Mr. Double Personality later on that night at the local watering hole sitting by himself at the bar. I didn't awknowledge him but he sent over drinks for me and my guy buddy to "apologize". He ended up coming over and sitting with us and talking for awhile...I guess this proves a drink or two can smooth over flakiness? :P

Mr. Halo just never contacted me back...still hasn't. Guess that means no 2nd date for him...I don't take to flaking well!